No Pain No Gain?

I was walking to and from my dentist’s office recently, about .8 miles one way, and I was reflecting on how there is not a chance a year ago I would have made that walk. Not only would I not have chosen to make the walk, but I physically wouldn’t have been able to.

In early 2010 I started experiencing terrible pain in my heels. I had experienced plantar fasciitis before and it did not feel like that. I treated it as though it was, though, for lack of any other ideas… long stretches, especially in the morning, wearing a brace at night, self golf ball and ice massage, etc., none of which helped. Finally the pain got so bad that I went to a podiatrist and was told I had heel spurs. And there started 3 years and thousands of dollars spent trying to figure out how to do any walking or standing without pain. I bought $400 custom orthotics, I had several cortisone shots, I had to toss my reasonable shoes (Danskos) and get more reasonable shoes (Merrills and Keens). I tried acupuncture, massage, Arnica and athletic taping. I had to give up my beloved boot camp and any other work out that had any sort of impact. I spent months in physical therapy. I spent $1500 a foot to get PRP (platelet rich plasma) injections that required me to be in a boot for a month on each foot. I had very little hope, by the end of this, that I would have any relief as NONE of these aforementioned treatments worked for me.

My feetsies

In conjunction with Chinese medicine plasters (which DID greatly help) AND losing 100 pounds (read more about that in a post coming soon), here is what I have back: My ability to walk. One could say I could always walk, but every step I took was agony. Every. Single. Step. I started walking on the outside of my feet to keep impact off my heels and then developed bone spurs there, too. I was so miserable. As I was walking home from the dentist, though, I was overwhelmed with such a sense of gratitude that I can walk now with little to no pain. I can work out regularly and at the intensity at which I desire. I can HIKE (one of my favorite outdoor activities)! I can do so many things I couldn’t do a year ago. And not just can, but WANT to.

Hiking for FUN! no pain, all gain!

So while “no pain, no gain” really refers to feeling the burn at the gym, which is a good thing, when I hear that statement, all I think is “no pain, so so so so much gain!”

The Story of Us (Me and My Fat) Part Four

I had considered weight loss surgery before I actually REALLY considered weight loss surgery. In part I rejected the idea because I personally didn’t feel comfortable with the lap-band or with the gastric bypass/ RNY options. I didn’t know about the sleeve surgery when I first started researching and once I did, I started giving it more thought. I also originally rejected VSG (vertical sleeve gastrectomy) because, frankly, I didn’t want to give up all my favorite foods. I wanted to eat what I wanted when I wanted, as much as I wanted. But my weight was creeping back up scarily toward 300 and eventually I had just had enough. My feet and ankles hurt, my clothes were too tight and I was physically uncomfortable much of the time.
I had maintained a relatively healthy lifestyle for several years; I ate mostly Paleo, I tried to exercise regularly and I did at least one cleanse a year. Yes, I drank wine and ate carbs and didn’t move as much as I wanted to due to both my size and my heel spurts. But I couldn’t lose weight. When I made the decision in August 2013 to get the surgery, I went in full steam ahead. I had all my appointments within a few weeks, my date was set in late October and I was ready to start my new life.

To prepare myself, I spent hours and hours and hours on Facebook WLS (weight loss surgery) groups, talking to other WLS patients at different spots throughout their journey and watching YouTube videos. There is a whole community for weight loss surgery patients and I gained a wealth of knowledge from them. Although you cannot fully know what to expect until you go through it yourself, I had at least gathered enough experiences to know if something I was going through was semi-normal or not. And that made a difference for me.

I should note here that my main motivation for wanting weight loss surgery was not all that complicated. I did not hate myself at 300 pounds. In fact, I loved myself, valued myself, did the work (see part 3) I needed to do to feel confident and sexy and worthy at any size. So it wasn’t really about vanity or confidence or looks. I was on blood pressure medication but was otherwise healthy. I didn’t have diabetes and my blood sugar and cholesterol were in check so my motivator wasn’t even really health. It was movement. I wanted to have enough weight off my body so that maybe my feet would get better (they did) and so I could hike and not huff and puff. My heart was healthy enough to get me up a hill, but I was carrying 150 extra pounds and it was HARD! I wanted to just be a “normal” sized person and to be normally out of breath at the top of a hill. I wanted to move my body outside more without the limitations I had as someone between 270-295 pounds.
On December 5^th, 2013, I had about 75% of my stomach removed and a hiatal hernia repaired. I got there at 6:00 in the morning for my 8:30am surgery and up until I was wheeled into the operating room, I was wondering when I was going to call my bluff. I walked into that hospital fully sure that I’d walk out saying “Just kidding! Not gunna, no way!” I was terrified. This was for real and this was forever.

Surgery Date: 12/5/13

And although my recovery was atypically long and painful, once I was through it, the weight just melted off. I lost 70 pounds in the first 4 ½ months and once I started exercising, things screeched down to a moderate 5 pounds a month. But those 5 pounds have been coming off consistently and I’m stronger and faster and in better shape than I’ve ever been in my entire life.

This is where you find me now. 10 months post op from VSG, down over 100 pounds, working out 4-6 days a week (more on that later, I’m sure). It has been a wild, wild ride, let me tell you. And I think all the things I’ve learned along the way may be better said in another blog, as I have so so so much to say on that, but I will say this. I am so thankful to have received the gift of the sleeve and grateful to have lost the weight I have lost: while I don’t feel I have changed very much inside, I do feel as though I have become more fully myself. I walk and hike FOR FUN, I take any opportunity to get up and get moving, I’ve found work out classes and routines I am absolutely in love with. Life is so very very good.

Here are my 10 month progress photos. Picture on the left is 301.2 on 11/22/13, picture on the right is 200.0 on 10/5/14.

Thank you for tuning in and walking through this journey with me. If you are just catching up, here are links to Part One, Part Two and Part Three.  You can watch my WLS from beginning to end you YouTube as well.

Until next time, friends… make it a wonderful day!

10.5.14 – ten months Side

10.5.14 – ten months front

The Story of Us (Me and My Fat) Part Three

y 26th year started with me at 320 pounds, (see here for Part Two) totally miserable, chronically single and stuck in a destructive diet/binge mentality. And then the movie “Supersize Me” happened. And it literally changed my life. As I mentioned in Part Two, I was eating McDonald’s almost every day. Once I saw “Supersize Me,” that changed immediately and I quit cold turkey. Within 2 months, I had dropped about 20 pounds and I had not even tried; all from cutting out my almost nightly McDonald’s binges.

At this point I felt ready and willing to date… to put myself out there. I had NO idea how to do it, so I signed up for several online dating websites and put myself out in the field. And I started to date! And it was amazing and interesting and heart wrenching and awful and beautiful all at the same time. Because I had not dated since I was 19, I actually FELT like I managed those “relationships” as though I was 19. I had few boyfriends, but several lovers and many, many, MANY dates. In starting my dating in my mid-twenties, I didn’t fully know how to relate to men OR myself WITH men! I got put into a “friends with benefits” category more often than not because I didn’t know how to stand up for what I wanted. Deep down, I felt like I should take what I could get. It took two pivotal affairs that left me feeling absolutely broken, worn and determined to do better that put me into therapy at 28. That therapist was, to this day, one of the most influential people in my life. She encouraged me to attend a handful of Adult Children of Alcoholics 12 step program which then led me to Codependents Anonymous (CODA).

I was in the CODA program and worked the 12 steps for about two years. I put in the time and I did the work. I began to finally feel worthy. I realized so many things throughout that process. In beginning to heal how I related in all relationships, I was able to come from a place of self-love and self-acceptance for the first time in my entire life, that I can remember. I was still obese and I was still always trying to lose weight, but I worked out, I cooked more whole food recipes, ate less processed food and maintained a weight of around 275 for many years.

275

By the time I was 31, I had bought a home, found a legitimate boyfriend who genuinely cared for me (we are still together), and started going to a local boot camp program. And here things accelerate a bit. Boot camp led me to lose 10 pounds (at the time I went from 285 to 275. At 275, not able to fudge the scale further, I started working with an amazing naturopath. With her help, I got down to 265. And again the scale froze. My naturopath wrote me a prescription for injectable HCG (human growth hormone) and I did that for 2 rounds and lost 32 pounds, getting me down to my lowest adult weight at the time of 232. I felt AMAZING!!!

235

And then I went on vacation. My boyfriend and I went to Maui and I ate POUNDS of cheese and drank A LOT of wine. And… when you’ve had 500 calories for 6 weeks and no carbs for 2 weeks following that and already have a deprivation issue… I ate everything in sight. I gained the 32 pounds plus another 30 and was back to 290 within 15 months.

By this time, I couldn’t continue with boot camp as I had developed heel spurs and could barely walk at all, much less work out. I couldn’t shop, hike, go for walks or do anything that involved prolonged standing on my feet due to the intense pain I had from the spurs. I was couch-bound, spending thousands of dollars on treatment and back on the diet rampage. My diets looked different by this time, however, and I was doing juice cleanses and Whole30s and eating Paleo 80% of the time. It was the inactivity and the other 20% of the time that was the problem.

By summer 2013, it occurred to me to consider surgery options. And we’ll go there next! Stay tuned for part four of four of The Story of Us (Me and My Fat).

If you’re just catching up, here are links to Part One and Part Two again!

The Story of Us (Me and My Fat) Part Two

Welcome back friends! So we enter phase two of the story of me and my fat. I left off in Part One just as I’m heading to college. Ahhhh…. College…. And I thought high school was torture. The good news is, I made a few friends and was having fun with them. The bad news is that I had followed my boyfriend, M, down to the town the college was in and by the time I moved there, two weeks after he’d made the move, he’d moved another girl into his apartment and had taken his phone off the ringer. It wasn’t a great start to the year and I’m not going to lie… I lost my shit. I listened to sad records. I cried all the time. I participated excessively in drugs and alcohol. I rang his phone constantly (pre cell phone days). I ate and ate and ate and ate and ate. I ate pizzas, I ate ice cream, I ate obscene amounts of candy. I’d eat a meal in the cafeteria just to go back to my room and eat again. I made the Freshman 15 into the Freshman 35 (I was AT LEAST 220 when I left my freshman year of college). I was absolutely miserable.

I made the decision to move home after my freshman year of college, at which time M and I were back together (trust me, I know… hindsight is 20/20) and within a few weeks, he had me over to introduce me to his female roommate and promptly told me he was engaged to her. That was how we broke up for good… he told me he was marrying someone else. That night I was even more destructive than normal (as you can imagine, it’s a shock when your boyfriend of three years tells you he’s engaged) but I woke up the next morning a changed woman. I stopped all extracurricular partying, I stopped dating and I buckled down and focused on school. I took 21 credit hours a quarter, graduated with my Bachelor’s degree in 3.5 years and remained dateless and celibate for the next seven years of my life.



During the time I was working on my undergraduate degree, I lived at home with my parents. My father was in the midst of a serious drug and alcohol problem and life at home was stressful. I continued to eat to cope with my feelings… It might be fair to say I ate to avoid having ANY feelings. I was prescribed an anti-depressant my sophomore year and I would argue that a good chunk of why I stayed so secluded during these years was because I was over prescribed the antidepressant. I spent seven years of my life being academically very productive, but on a personal side becoming increasingly stunted. I had a few friends, but I didn’t go out much. I went to class, I studied hard and I watched TV. I was essentially a hermit. I was also in an obsessive diet/ binge/ diet/ binge cycle.

While I have no actual clue how high my weight creeped up during this time, I’m guessing it was around 280. I lived a dichotomous existence. On one hand I was SO proud of what I was doing academically but I hated myself. I would even go so far as to say detested. I got by but that was all I did. I did NOT live.

I moved to Southern California in the Fall of 2000 where I started a two year graduate degree program. Here is where I started to have hope of a life more than what I was allowing myself. I had my very first apartment, at age 22 and I made very good friends who I simply adored. Within my first six months, I started on Weight Watchers and proceeded to lose fifty pounds. I learned to cook, I went out every now and then and I put a sticky note on my mirror in my bedroom that said “DO NOT BE AFRAID TO LIVE LIFE.” That message sticks with me to this day. There is no room in my life, as it is now, to be afraid to live it. But back then, I just didn’t know any better. I had wants, dreams, desires… but I did not know how to go after them.



I had started putting weight back on by the time I graduated and moved home. Upon re-entry to my folks’ house, I started gaining weight at a rapid rate. My father was still in the throes of addiction, my mother was deeply depressed and my 14 year old brother was hanging on the best he could. I applied to hundreds of jobs during the post 9/11 recession and took the first one offered to me, six months after the move home. It took nearly another year or more after that to get an apartment and make the final move out of the parental home. I worked for a great company with an abusive boss and guess what I did to cope? I ate. And ate, and ate, and ate some more. To give you an idea, I would eat a coffee cake or a bagel and cream cheese and a large mocha each morning for breakfast. I worked near a mall downtown and I’d have mall food most days for lunch, consisting of a deli sandwich, side pasta salad and a cookie (or several) OR the greasy spoon Chinese food… always the orange chicken, chow mein and teriyaki chicken. Dinners were almost always McDonald’s, or another fast food. Massive amounts of fast food. And ice cream. Lots and lots of ice cream.
I rang in my 26th birthday at my highest recorded weight, 319 pounds.

Things are really heating up here and the best is yet to come! Stay tuned for Part Three in the Story of Us (Me and My Fat).

The Story of Us (Me and My Fat) Part One

I did not grow up thinking I was fat. I had a happy early childhood and don’t remember having any younger year issues with my size or how my size related to the world. I did, however, weigh more than other children in my age/height range. I am convinced, to this day, that I just have dense bones. ;>

My mother was overweight and struggled with her weight her whole life. When I was 11, in an effort to make sure I didn’t turn out just like her, she put me on a 600 calorie a day diet. I don’t remember all that I was able to eat, but I remember an abundance of nonfat yogurt, string cheese and deli turkey slices. I remember having to regulate myself, with her help, and track calories. I lost 15-ish pounds and my mom seemed happy so I guess I was happy, too. Right?

Wrong. I felt insecure and unsure of who I was and where I fit in with all the others who were more “normal” (aka more slim) than me. Entering the early stages of puberty, I felt like I wasn’t good enough just as I was. I had to slim down to fit in. And I was so so so hungry. In my mother’s attempt to not make me like her, she made me just like her… weight and food obsessed, low self-esteem and a deep sense that being heavy makes one unworthy of the best life has to offer. Bless her heart, she really did (and does) the best she can. Dieting by the age of 11 set up the foundation for a deprivation issue that I struggle with to this very day – when I don’t think there is going to be enough food for me, I panic. Deep, primal, pure panic. And if I get very hungry, I kind of flip out… deprivation mentality at its best.

The overarching message I heard from 11 onward was that when I lost some weight… when I was a smaller size… when I was a more “normal” weight … then I’d get the friends, the boyfriend, the social life I so desired. I was a social kid but didn’t have an abundance of friends (and certainly no boyfriends), and over time, I didn’t think I really deserved them. I took what I could get, putting me in a lot of strange and borderline abusive friendships, and eventually, relationships.

 

My junior year of high school I started dating “M”, two years my senior, who went to another high school and I was with him, off and on, for three years. It was a mess. I was a mess. While I’ll go into that relationship more in Part Two, it was my very first relationship (albeit, not my last) that could be classified as “love addiction.” I couldn’t let him go… and I was dieting constantly…. Even eating/drinking nothing more than breath mints to try to drop a few pounds. My self-esteem dropped lower and lower. And then high school was over and it was time for college (Stay tuned for Part Two)!

 

When I look back on my life thus far, I think in terms of “what I weighed when”. When I was 11 I was 135 pounds and got down to 118. I started high school at probably 145 and I took my senior pictures at 175 and I graduated high school at 185. While college and beyond will be covered more in Part Two, I hope that I can think of my life, eventually, in terms of accomplishments, successes, adventures, love stories and beautiful moments. After all, it is all of these things, and more, that define who we are, not a number on a scale or a size on a tag. We are more than our weight; we are AMAZING!

Stay tuned to read The Story of Us (Me and My Fat) – Part Two – The Middle years (19-26)

The things I learned in Mexico

I seemed to have learned quite a bit to my recent trip to the Riviera Maya. I've compiled some of my lessons for your reading pleasure. :)

You don't need a lot of clothes:
    Seriously. I packed A LOT of clothes. I managed to pack them mostly in ziploc airtight bags in a carry-on, but still, I sold it as "I need options." Guess what, you really don't. When you are on a tropical vacation, you need a pair or two of comfy shorts, two T-shirts, a few tank tops, a dress (maybe), 1-2 pairs of flip flops, PJs, a pair of comfy walking shoes/ tennies and your swim suits (and a cover up if you want one). I needed 2 swim suits even though I brought three. I brought SIGNIFICANTLY more clothing than what I mentioned above and wore almost none of it. Once I was there and it was hot and humid, I went for comfort, not style. There were full days I wore ONLY a swimsuit until I was showering and putting on PJs.

Driving is crazy, no one follows many traffic rules and stop signs mean absolutely nothing:
    Need I say more? People are parked all over, they use the shoulders to pass, they use hazards as brake lights, straddle lanes and never ever did I see someone make a full or even a California stop at a stop sign. DO NOT drink and drive... you need to be alert to drive in the Riviera Maya (and I suspect all over Mexico). But once you're driving and you understand that the only rules are that there are no rules... it wasn't as bad as I was expecting. Totally doable.Which leads me to...

Be sure of what kind of insurance you need regarding your rental car:
    I had collision and theft coverage through the credit card I was using to pay for the rental car. I had all my documentation. I was pretty sure I needed nothing else. I DID NOT double check that I had liability insurance. I am sure I would have been covered, but because I didn't double check this with my Visa, I ended up paying $467 for a mid sized rental car for 8 days ($315 of which was liability insurance). Call your credit companies and BE SURE you know what coverage you have, what coverage you need, and what it will cost you. Bring proper documentation with you if you are fully covered so you can decline anything you don't need at the rental counter.

Warm water isn't needed for showering after a day in the sun:
    I didn't experience any warm water during showering in our rental home. And you think "aw shucks, that sucks." but you know what? It doesn't. It feels great. It's not COLD cold, just mildly cold (more cold than warm, though). Washing hair in the cold water is the worst part, but you just do it fast. After a day in the sun, the water feels colder than it probably really is and, honestly, is SO refreshing!!

Try to avoid paying for groceries and gas with cash/pesos:
    I didn't even consider using anything other than my visa for grocery shopping but when I bought gas and the attendant told me that they didn't accept Visa, I didn't think anything of it. I wish I'd asked more (B/c they TOTALLY did accept visa, of this I am sure). When I handed over my 690 pesos for my 682 bill, the attendant flipped my 500 bill into a 50 and tried to tell him that I gave him the wrong amount. I argued with him about this and upon my third reiteration that I did, indeed, give him a 500 bill, he gave me my change. But I was furious (and still am) and am disappointed that the culture promotes this kind of blatant fraud. Which leads me to....

Being heckled is exhausting:
   Everyone said "just don't let it bother you" but it did bother me. I was able to ignore most of it, but when I was told I was not nice because I didn't make a purchase or didn't offer enough money for a purchase at a certain vendor's shop, I thought that was a little far. Also, I want to take time to look at things without someone standing at my shoulder pretty much yelling at me the whole time. My best shopping experiences in Mexico were when the shop keepers kept an eye on me but didn't harass me before, during or after my time there.  which leads me to:

Negotiate, negotiate, negotiate:
    Everything is negotiable. I WAY overpaid for most of my souvenirs but some of them I loved so much I really didn't care at all.  My travel companion and best girlfriend nailed it... if they didn't want to pay the price she was offering, she left. If they changed their minds, they would come after her and give her the item for her asking price. If not, she would look elsewhere or re-assess and go back if she wanted it bad enough. I give her major kudos for her bartering skills.

You won't be hungry enough for all those snacks:
    I packed SO MANY snacks. I DID need some snacks on the plane so for those I was grateful, but I also brought, like, 20 protein bars with me. I didn't eat a single one. Not a single one. Between eggs for breakfast, tuna salad or cheese/crackers for lunch and either home made tacos, leftovers, or a meal out for dinner (oh and the multiple mimosas/ margaritas/ pina coladas/ glasses of wine/ etc/ etc / etc), I didn't have room or hunger for anything else. I barely snacked at all. I had breakfast, lunch, dinner and maybe a few bites of things here and there. Next time, I think I'll bring a few bars, nuts/seeds/crackers and that's it. You can buy almost anything else you need there. Don't waste luggage space on food. And frankly, it's too hot in Mexico to eat much. I drank most of my calories on cold beverages. :)

Time is relative when you're close to the equator:
    It's light at 6am (or maybe earlier) and it's dark by 6pm. I woke up at 6:30-7am most days and was in bed by 9:30pm most nights. I didn't think once that I was going to bed too early or getting up too early. It's wonderful to enjoy the solace of an early morning on the ocean and by the time that 9pm comes around, I was TIRED and grateful to have a place to rest my head for the night. I remember Hawaii being much the same... early to bed, early to rise. I kind of love it. :)


Bug spray, bug spray, bug spray:
    While I didn't notice bug spray was needed too much during the day when you're on the ocean, you most definitely need it if you are elsewhere off the coast and the second that sun starts to set the bugs come out. While my travel friends all wore Deet based spray or insect armor (a more natural bug spray), I used only bug off synergy with witch hazel. I got one bite on the first night and at least 4 others in our party were eaten alive, despite the Deet/insect armor. I barely had enough to last me the week, but it got me through and as someone who mosquitoes LOOOOOVE, I had no better test to how well this product worked. I highly recommend it and am pleasantly surprised that I got off so easy.
http://www.amazon.com/Synergy-Essential-Blend-Undiluted-Therapeutic/dp/B006OR6CDC


I am sure I have many more life lessons for you, but this is where my story ends for today. It was a wonderful trip, overall, with wonderful people and I'm so blessed and grateful to have had the opportunity to have taken it. I very much love my life and the people in it. :) Have a great day everyone!!

I have gone through everything in my closet. Everything. I'm keeping everything that fits now and everything that is currently too small. I was all excited about giving things away and then all of a sudden, I choked.

Because I've been here before. I lost a bunch of weight and put it all back on. I am repeatedly reminded by a coworker to "be careful" of gaining all the weight back. Not that I don't think about that enough on my own without the reminder, but that, coupled with the few pound gain this week, has me very emotionally stressed out.

So I made two bags of clothes. One that I will give away when I am ready, and one that I will keep until I've been at goal for at least one year. So I'm not in the same situation I was 3 years ago when I gained the weight back and literally had no clothes. Now... I don't anticipate I will gain the weight back, but.... I'm just too scared.

And that is okay. I can be scared. I SHOULD be scared. Just scared enough to keep me from drinking wine too often, or getting frozen yogurt every night or having buttered popcorn for dinner. Accepting my fear will help me not take myself out to dinner tonight. Accepting that it's okay not to be ready... to face each hurdle as they come and to take my time working through them... will keep me from making poor food choices. Eating to numb my emotions cannot help me. So I am going to let myself be scared. Even if it means holding on to clothes two sizes too big until I feel confident enough that I will never need them again.

Wistful snow days

A couple of weekends ago, I spent some time in the cafe that was my home away from home when I lived in the Clinton neighborhood and I was reminiscing on the six years I spent in that part of town. How much I loved it, how I loved being so close to downtown, how I loved being so close to everything! And I could walk to my favorite restaurant, bar and cafe. I ended up going home and looking at real estate in the area (yeah right, SO over my ever possible price range) and also apartments, just to see. Seeing that apartments were the same price as my mortgage stopped that search short and I decided to just embrace how much I loved being there then and try to embrace the comfort of my beautiful home now (despite my cruel neighbors and not-so-nice neighborhood).

But yesterday, when it started to snow, I got wistful again. I never spent much time inside when it snowed in my neighborhood off Clinton Street. I lived in a lovely residential neighborhood in a tri-plex so I never felt like I was in an apartment. When it snowed, I'd bundle up in my finest hiking shoes, cutest cold weather hat and get out in the snow! I had a friend who lived down the street so I'd gather her up and we'd walk the neighborhood. We'd go to the cafe for coffee, we'd go to NoHos for lunch, we'd go to New Season's for supplies. It would take us an HOUR to get to New Seasons and back in the kind of snow we had the few times we had snow, but it was a BLAST! We were warm enough and so happy to be in a quiet neighborhood winter wonderland. It felt like magic.

And frankly, I miss that. I don't have that here, living around watchful and spiteful neighbors, off two busy streets, behind a vacant high school, the rush of the freeway behind me. There is just so little magic to be had for me here on days like this. I try to revel in the comfort in my warm space (both literally and figuratively), and focus my energy on making a great meal, on reading a great book, on watching a great movie ... really taking advantage of the downtime.

But I think, even after 4.5 years, my heart still belongs to Clinton. There are some days that I feel there is a lot I would give to be back there. But then I remember where I am. And how I got here. And I try to remember that I AM grateful and I AM happy. That sometimes it's just hard to let go of certain aspects of the past simply because they were so beautiful. And that's okay.

I can love it here and love it there at the same time. I guess the challenge now is finding the magic here somehow. And if not, then I find it within and not without and hold tight to that instead.

Happy snowmen making out there, friends!

Southwest Travels Part Duex (2 of 2)

Friday 11/1 marked a new month and the beginning of an action packed adventure weekend! Tess and I had a late start to the day but we headed up to Jerome, AZ around 12:30pm so we arrived shortly before 3pm. We realized, upon arrival, that most of the shops closed around 5pm we busted arse through town to check out all the cute shops and galleries, of which there are many. Luckily we are power shoppers and not only did we get some great stuff, but we did almost all our shopping before the shops closed! We also had photo ops of the views and some unique things we saw about town (like a crumbling jail!) Once we checked in and got settled in the Connor Hotel, we headed up to the Asylum restaurant at The Grand Hotel at the very top of the hill (the entire town is built into a side of a mountain, about 5300 feet elevation and used to be a copper mining town). 

The view from Jerome

The Connor Hotel - our crash pad

Selfie with Jerome behind us on the mountain

The Asylum was still gruesomely decorated for Halloween. It was definitely spooktastic. We got seated right away and enjoyed a two hour fancy meal with a side of awkward winking from the waiter. Hahaha!

We intended to maybe go listen to some live music but I was so overly full from dinner it was all I could do just to get my home. It was good, though, because Tess and I just sat and talked for hours. Finally I could not keep my eyes open a minute longer and around 11pm I was out like a light. 

Saturday we packed up and had breakfast at the Mile High Café. It was really very good and we finished a bit of shopping we didn’t get to hit the day before. Around 11am or so, we headed out of town toward Sedona. The road out of town was so windy that it took us 30 minutes to go only 10 miles. AND come to find out, we were heading south (when we should have been heading north) so we had to turn around and go back through Jerome and down the mountain and finally headed toward Sedona. We got to Sedona around 1pm. The original plan was to have lunch there and head straight to the Grand Canyon but we were both enjoying Sedona so much that we decided to enjoy the afternoon there and hit the canyon in the morning so not to be rushed or miss out on anything. We spent a good chunk of the afternoon walking through an art fair where I proceeded to spend more money than I should have on gifts and goodies. 

Beautiful red rocks everywhere

Just one of many amazing outcroppings in Sedona

 We headed out of town around 4:30 or so and luckily made it through the curviest part of our drive before dark. We got to our hotel around 6:30 and had some grub at the hotel restaurant. Afterwards, we moved to the lounge area and ordered several rounds of wine (beer for Tessa) and taught two Australian couples how to play Yahtzee. 

Yahtzee lessons proved fruitful as the blonde kicked all our arses

We had decided to watch the sun rise at the Grand Canyon so Sunday started for us at 5:05 AM and we were on the road by 5:20 toward the Canyon. We really had no idea where we were going but luckily we got to bypass the park entrance fee and we found a great view point right away. It was dark and FREEZING and we had to wait about an hour for the sun to fully rise but it was amazing and incredible. There ended up being a huge busload of other people there, but despite that, Tessa and I enjoyed the serenity of the moment.

Sunrise at the Grand Canyon

Sunkissed

amazing

The canyon in full morning light.

We found breakfast down the road at El Torvar Lodge which was quite lovely and then back to the hotel for a 2 hour nap (luckily we got a 1pm check out). Then up, shower and it was time for Tessa and I to part ways as she headed back down home to Phoenix and I headed northwest to Las Vegas.

On the way to Vegas, I did stop at the Hoover Dam and although I did not drive all the way through it, I’m glad I stopped. I also loved the viewpoint over Lake Mead. From there, it was only 30 minutes to Layne’s house…

Welcome to Nevada and then reminder to turn my watch back an hour!

Lake Mead lookout

And the rest is yet to tell! Have a wonderful week everyone!

Southwest Traves Part Duex (1 of 2)

And so the adventure continues! ….. I arrived in Phoenix around 5pm-ish on Saturday 10/26. I had just enough time to unload, settle in for a bit and put on my borrowed Halloween Costume. Tessa (my hostess who so kindly let me crash her pad for the whole week) and her boyfriend Esteban had plans to go to a Halloween party so Tessa loaned me a costume, we grabbed a sushi dinner and to the party we went! 

There is a new sheriff in town!

The Penguin and the Sheriff

The party was HOPPING and there were tons of great costumes there, but we didn’t know too many folks so we didn’t stay too late. It had been a long day for me anyway, being as I was only in Palm Springs that morning, so I did get tucked in for my beauty rest by 11pm, which I was appreciative for.

Sunday (10/27) was my visiting with friend’s day. I met up with one of my best friends from high school in Central Phoenix and we had an amazing meal at Chelsea’s kitchen. I had lost and regained contact with her so many times since high school with this last bout being at least 8 or 9 years. I was SO happy to see her! She looked SO amazing and exactly the same. 

Susan

Combating bright Arizona sunshine (the anti squint faces)

 We sat and caught up for hours and I was so sad when I had to leave her, but alas… I had other plans that afternoon in Scottsdale. I met my mentor, Deborah, at Houston’s in Scottsdale and enjoyed a wonderful snack with her and her fiancé, Carlos. I worked with / under Deb on several projects during my early career with my company and she had (and still has) a great influence on me. I am very happy I got to see her during this visit. 

The lovely Deborah and her fiance Carlos (and me)

Monday I did have to work but Tessa put me up in her office so I had a quiet and bright place to hunker down during my week days, which I was eternally grateful for after working from bed with a nasty cold most of the week before. Tessa has 3 pugs so it was hilarious to see which one wanted to come and sit at my feet during the day, to watch the puppy wrestle with the others, and listen to the biggest one snort and snore. They were definitely entertaining!

Monday evening, Tessa took me to The Music Man in Scottsdale. We had no idea what to expect and when we noticed that the theatre was tucked away behind a strip mall, we were nervous. When we walked in and saw several “actors” none of which were over 17, we were officially skeptical. But, much to our pleasant surprise, we were genuinely entertained by the show and the cast and had a wonderful time laughing and singing along. 

Tuesday, Tessa and Esteban took me to my first NHL hockey game (AZ Coyotes against the Los Angeles team). We were about 5 rows down from the very top, but we could see all the action just fine and, even though it was freezing in there, it was a good fun time.

Bundled Up - BRRRRR

 Wednesday and Thursday were more mellow days. Wednesday Tessa and I went and had 90 minute massages and met up with Esteban for a late dinner where we feasted on chicken wings. Thursday was Halloween, so we carved pumpkins, handed out candy to trick or treaters and played Yahtzee. It was a wonderful night!

I'm a traditionalist

And on that note, I’ll save the next phase for the next blog. My time in Phoenix was better than I could have imagined and I was so happy to see old friends and do such fun and interesting things with Tessa and her boyfriend!