tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-50182968786042575432024-03-13T14:59:07.551-07:00Musings from the land of FlyeMusings on: Health, diet, fitness, food, support and friendship, relationships, randomisms, daily life, positive thinking, motivation, exercise, compulsive eating, lifestyle changes.Luscious Lindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07978723382435960383noreply@blogger.comBlogger91125truetag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5018296878604257543.post-89542452451661368452015-02-18T15:12:00.004-08:002015-02-18T15:12:35.782-08:002014 Amazingness and 2015 Resolutions<div class="thumb-wrap" style="text-align: center;">
<a class="td-featured-img cboxElement" href="http://makingprogress.me/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/125.5.jpg" rel="bookmark" title="2014 Amazingness & 2015 Resolutions"><img alt="" class="entry-thumb" height="201" itemprop="image" src="http://makingprogress.me/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/125.5-700x352.jpg" title="2014 Amazingness & 2015 Resolutions" width="400" /></a></div>
<br /> <br />
2014
was one of the best years of my life. At the turn of the clock on
1/1/14, I was a few weeks out from Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy surgery,
finally on the road to recovery and ready to start living my new life
with my new stomach.<br />
<br />
To recap, I went on no fewer than 16 trips ranging from weekends at
the coast to Las Vegas to the very tippy corner of Arizona bordering
Mexico to the Redwood forests in Northern California. I did pub crawls
and wine tour days and went dancing and to concerts and to a wedding
reception for new friends I met through the WLS community. I went hiking
and walking and exploring. I had big parties, small parties, dinner
parties, movie nights and book club meetings. I went to happy hours and
fancy dinners and went dancing and felt more fully myself than I ever
had before.<br />
<br />
<img alt="Gym goodness" class="alignnone size-medium wp-image-509 alignleft" height="300" src="http://makingprogress.me/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/43-168x300.jpg" width="168" /> <br />
<br />
Some of my big surgery related accomplishments and notable mentions were that I <a href="http://lusciouslindsay.blogspot.com/2015/02/the-one-where-she-loses-100-pounds.html">lost 100 pounds</a>,
I hit Onederland (meaning my weight is now in the 100’s), I can cross
my legs (most notably under a table!), I don’t have chaffing when I wear
dresses and skirts, I can shop in regular sized stores, starting 2015
in a M/L, 12-ish size range. I have BONES! And not just collar bones,
but elbows and knees and hips and ribs and a JAW (this is amazing)! I am
in the best shape of my life, with so much more room for growth. I can
walk and hike and move without constant pain, <a href="http://lusciouslindsay.blogspot.com/2015/02/no-pain-no-gain.html" title="No Pain, No Gain?">especially foot pain</a><a href="http://lusciouslindsay.blogspot.com/2015/02/no-pain-no-gain.html"></a>
I completed a 12 week weight lifting challenge and lost 12 inches and 4
pounds… results aside, though, I was PROUD of accomplishing the
challenge. I showed up, I was present, I did the work and it changed my
life and my attitude on fitness and how fitness and I relate to each
other.<br />
<br />
As I closed out 2015, I spent a solid month <a href="http://lusciouslindsay.blogspot.com/2015/02/holiday-spirit-or-self-sabotage.html" target="" title="Holiday Spirit or Self-Sabotage?">over eating</a>,
making poor food choices and drinking way more than I usually do, and,
frankly, more than what I prefer. I gained just about six pounds during
the month and started to feel worse and worse. I put together a photo
collage to remind myself of how far I’ve come and reflected on what I
wanted 2015 to look like for me.<br /><br />
<div class="wp-caption alignright" id="attachment_507" style="width: 310px;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="http://makingprogress.me/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/PhotoGrid_1419992462518.jpg"><img alt="Xmas 2013 vs Xmas 2014" class="size-medium wp-image-507" height="300" src="http://makingprogress.me/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/PhotoGrid_1419992462518-300x300.jpg" width="300" /></a></div>
<div class="wp-caption-text">
Xmas 2013 vs Xmas 2014<br /></div>
</div>
I came up with the following resolutions/ goals:<br />
<ol>
<li><strong>208 hours of exercise in 2015</strong>. I am starting off
the year strong with a month back at the Kettlebell studio (more on that
later) with 4 one hour work outs per week plus an additional day of
cardio (time to be determined) and 75 minutes a week of yin yoga. After
the month in the kettlebell studio, I’ll probably go back and do the 12
week weight lifting challenge again on my own. Love me some muscles!!!<br /></li>
<li><strong>I would like to reach my weight goal this year</strong>. I
had it previously set at 160, but I’m going to try to go for 150. If it
takes me all year, that is okay. I want to eat well and exercise and get
to where I’m going with the mindset of it’s a marathon and not a
sprint. As of today, this leaves me with 44.6 pounds to go. I’ll
reassess where I want to be from there.<br /></li>
<li><strong>I will do one Whole30 challenge in 2015</strong>. I start
this on 1/5/15 so I expect to get this done early and maybe do a second
one in May or June, but my goal is to successfully complete one of
these. I like doing these in January as I can abstain from all the shit
that got me in the ruts in December: Sugar, alcohol, gluten, dairy.
Protein and produce is what I’m all about this month.<br /></li>
<li>I would like to <strong>reduce some old credit card debt</strong> that I have. The number I have in mind will take me 2/3 of the way to paying it off in full.<br /> </li>
<li><strong>Travel</strong>! I would like to take one large trip (5+
days) and at least 4 small trips (3-4 day long weekends). I have WLSFA
in San Diego booked and a subsequent cruised booked with some friends
I’ve made through the weight loss surgery community. That will be 9-10
days. I already have two long weekends away booked with my fella and
we’re talking about doing Dallas and NYC this year as well so I’m well
on my way to accomplishing this goal.</li>
</ol>
So, friends, I’m feeling hopeful, determined, optimistic and excited
for 2015. What are your highlights of 2014 and goals for the new year
ahead?Luscious Lindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07978723382435960383noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5018296878604257543.post-10538811329289956692015-02-18T15:09:00.002-08:002015-02-18T15:09:19.569-08:00Holiday Spirit or Self Sabotage? <br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<img alt="" class="entry-thumb" height="201" itemprop="image" src="http://makingprogress.me/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/1441480_10205711222526611_4640865545253783327_n-700x352.jpg" title="Holiday Spirit or Self-Sabotage?" width="400" /> </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
There have been some pretty major milestones hit in the last couple of months. I hit <a href="http://lusciouslindsay.blogspot.com/2015/02/the-one-where-she-loses-100-pounds.html" target="_blank" title="The one where she loses 100 pounds">100 pounds lost</a>.
I got under 200 pounds (Onderland). I hit my one year surgiversary. I
made it into a 12/14, M/L clothing size which allows me to buy clothes
in any store I choose. I’ve changed my entire body shape and composition
by lifting weights. And so much more. Lots and lots and lots of good
stuff.<br />
<br />
<div class="wp-caption alignleft" id="attachment_494" style="width: 179px;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="http://makingprogress.me/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/83.5.jpeg"><img alt="Holiday Wine Tasting" class="wp-image-494 size-medium" height="300" src="http://makingprogress.me/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/83.5-169x300.jpeg" width="169" /></a></div>
<div class="wp-caption-text">
Holiday Wine Tasting</div>
</div>
<br />
And yet in the last couple of weeks, I have gained or maintained each
week. I am not following my eating plan, I am eating more carbs, slider
foods, sugar and just more in general. I’m also socializing more which
means I’m participating in more adult beverages. I consciously drank
very little in November and seem to be more than making up for that
drought in December.<br />
<br />
But it occurred to me the other day… is this normal holiday spirit or
absolute and utter terror? “Why would you be afraid, Lindsay?” you may
ask. Excellent question. One would think that at my lowest adult weight,
in a size of clothing I can’t remember ever seeing, and at a <a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" title="Meet Me at the Barre">level of fitness</a>
I’d never before been able to obtain… what is there to possibly be
afraid of? I’m not entirely sure, but I know I AM afraid. Afraid of not
losing the rest of the weight. Afraid that wherever I end up I won’t be
able to maintain. Afraid of gaining some or all my weight back. Afraid
of the attention I get from other people that I’m not experienced in
dealing with.<br />
<br />
So I ask myself if I’m doing the normal holiday celebration thing or
if my behavior is, plain and simple, self-sabotage. Frankly, I think
it’s both. I’m pushing the boundaries, edging out of the box, seeing how
far I can go. But see how far I can go before what? Before I get
totally out of hand and my 3.2 pound gain turns into 10? Not acceptable.<br />
<br />
<div class="wp-caption alignright" id="attachment_495" style="width: 310px;">
<a href="http://makingprogress.me/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/109-11.25.jpg"><img alt="working out" class="size-medium wp-image-495" height="300" src="http://makingprogress.me/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/109-11.25-300x300.jpg" width="300" /></a><div class="wp-caption-text">
working out</div>
<div class="wp-caption-text">
<br /></div>
</div>
My game plan: Get through the holidays. Try to only eat when I’m
hungry. I refuse to deprive myself of things, but I do need to keep
moderation in mind. I WILL have my Aunt’s incredible pie on Christmas
Eve for dessert, but I won’t take any home with me. I WILL enjoy my
champagne and wine during these weeks but I’ll recommit to limited
drinking come January. In fact, my boyfriend and I are planning on doing
a more whole foods eating thing come the New Year. Not really a cleanse
or diet, per se, but a conscious effort to cut out sugar, gluten,
alcohol and, for me, dairy. My goal is to reduce inflammation and
continue to drop weight and his goal is to lose a few pounds and FEEL
better. I have to remember that, between now and the end of the year,
the more sugar I eat, the more I WANT to eat, so it really is just
easier to cut that off at the pass instead of negotiating it while it’s
happening. I will continue to work out (although the wine sure has
affected my ability to do cardio, let me tell you!) and focus on protein
and fluids and just get through the next few weeks with the intention
to truly do the best I can.<br />
<br />
Happy holidays, friends, and may your New Year be happy and bright!<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
Luscious Lindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07978723382435960383noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5018296878604257543.post-7464721322404915512015-02-18T15:04:00.000-08:002015-02-18T15:04:32.410-08:00The One Where She Loses 100 Pounds<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<img alt="" class="entry-thumb" height="201" itemprop="image" src="http://makingprogress.me/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/200-700x352.jpg" title="The one where she loses 100 pounds" width="400" /> </div>
<br />
Tuesday, September 29<sup>th</sup> 2014. This is the date I officially
hit the 100 pound lost mark. I was silent with it for a little bit. And
then I announced it to the world. I posted it on both my personal and
WLS facebook pages. I posted a YouTube Video. I received an outpouring
of support and congratulations. And still I did not expect to feel how
felt. I thought I’d see that number fall below 201.2 (the 100 pound
mark) and flip out. Jump up and down and scream and maybe even cry. I
was perplexed to find that I felt almost nothing. Maybe a bit confused. A
little numb. Definitely shocked. Who is this person? What’s happening
here? When I look into the mirror and I see my collar bones and my waist
and the small gap in my thighs, I think “she is lovely!” and yet in my
head I don’t always identify that person as ME.<br />
<br />
<div class="wp-caption alignnone" id="attachment_352" style="width: 310px;">
<a href="http://makingprogress.me/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/PhotoGrid_1413823436482.jpg"><img alt="100 pounds difference in one year" class="size-medium wp-image-352" height="300" src="http://makingprogress.me/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/PhotoGrid_1413823436482-300x300.jpg" width="300" /></a><div class="wp-caption-text">
100 pounds difference in one year</div>
</div>
<br />
Losing 100 pounds is an amazing accomplishment. I feel proud and
blessed and appreciative that all the work I’ve put in, not just this
year, but in the last several years, is finally coming to fruition with
the help of my new tool (my sleeve). I wish I felt like I wanted to
climb a mountain top and roar “THIS IS ME!” But I find myself cowering a
bit… wanting to hide… confused as to what is happening.<br />
<br />
Perhaps I’m experiencing some trepidation. I have put myself out in
the public eye. I have made my journey public… much more so since
joining <a href="http://www.imperfectlife.net/" target="_blank">I’mPerfect.net</a>/<a href="http://makingprogress.me/" target="_blank"> Makingprogress.me</a>
and I think there is an undercurrent of pure terror and panic that if I
fail… if I gain some or all my weight back… everyone will see it.
EVERYONE will know I failed. I have little doubt that I will succeed (I
do have some, of course), but as someone who has lost and gained the
same 20-50 pounds for 15 years, it’s hard to wrap my mind around
maintaining a healthy weight for the long haul.<br />
<br />
One hundred pounds is a lot to lose in 10 months. Many lose that
weight in even shorter amounts of time. But for me, personally, it
doesn’t feel like I’ve had much time to adjust to it. I lost 70 pounds
in 4 months and 30 pounds in the 6 months thereafter. Despite things
having slowed down to a steady 5 pounds per month, I still consider
myself in the low 200’s. I’ve been below 210 for 2+ months and I still
think of myself as 230. My brain has simply not caught up.<br />
<br />
<div class="wp-caption alignnone" id="attachment_349" style="width: 310px;">
<a href="http://makingprogress.me/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/PhotoGrid_1413822072991.jpg"><img alt="100 pounds difference - ONE YEAR!" class="size-medium wp-image-349" height="300" src="http://makingprogress.me/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/PhotoGrid_1413822072991-300x300.jpg" width="300" /></a><div class="wp-caption-text">
100 pounds difference – ONE YEAR!</div>
<div class="wp-caption-text">
<br /></div>
</div>
Oh, and let’s not even talk about the hormones. I’m sure I’ll make
that another post in and of itself. For now let’s just say that not only
is the physical changes to my body shocking and amazing and beautiful
and terrifying, but the spectrum of emotion and thought and confusion
and joy I feel on a moment to moment basis is a jumble.<br />
<br />
I hope once the shock has worn off, I can revel in this incredible
achievement. By the time I adjust to the 100 pounds down, I’ll probably
see that 1 as the first number on the scale instead of a 2 and I’ll go
through all of this all over again! Another big, shocking, incredible
milestone. ‘Till then, friends….. feel free to catch up on The Story of
Me Part <a href="http://makingprogress.me/contributors/lindsay/the-story-of-us-me-and-my-fat-part-one-by-lindsay-flye/" title="The Story of Us (Me and My Fat)-Part One by Lindsay Flye">One</a>, <a href="http://makingprogress.me/contributors/the-story-of-us-me-and-my-fat-part-two-the-middle-years-19-26/" title="The Story of Us (Me and My Fat) – Part Two – The Middle years (19-26) by Lindsay">Two</a>, <a href="http://makingprogress.me/contributors/the-story-of-us-me-and-my-fat-part-three-finding-myself-26-35/" title="The Story of Us (Me and My Fat) – Part Three – Finding myself (26-35)">Three </a>and <a href="http://makingprogress.me/contributors/the-story-of-us-me-and-my-fat-part-4-wls-and-beyond/" title="The Story of Us (Me and My Fat) – Part 4 – WLS and Beyond">Four</a>!<br />
<br />
<br />Luscious Lindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07978723382435960383noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5018296878604257543.post-83956361187919443352015-02-18T15:03:00.001-08:002015-02-18T15:03:11.023-08:00Meet Me at the BarreOne of the many things I’ve been recently obsessed with lately is
Barre classes. I found a studio not too terribly far from me, through
Groupon, that is not only beautiful but has a variety of Barre classes
including Bootybarre, Flex and Flow Barre, Barre Fusion and Barre
Circuit (descriptions can be found <a href="http://www.aspiretotalfitness.com/new-page-1/" title="Class Descriptions">here</a>.
I, personally, love the Barre circuit class. I’ve read some blogs
recently that talk about how Barre isn’t that great of a work out and I
respect everyone’s right to like or dislike a work out, but I
consistently burn 400 calories per hour during a Barre Circuit class and
I think that’s darn good (considering I burn 450 in a bootcamp style
kettle bell class, which has a higher intensity level).<br />
<br />
The phrase “up and inch, down an inch” has become its own type of
glorious torture for me, but in such a good way. Most of the exercises
are done at the barre and you get low into a pose and then you hover…
lifting up just an inch and hovering back down just an inch. I have
never ever felt my legs shake the way this kind of isolated movement can
make my legs shake. Even after just one work out, I walked out feeling
like I had the longest leanest legs ever (I don’t, of course, but
perception counts). It doesn’t hurt that everyone in the studio (and I
mean everyone, not just the instructors) have absolutely magnificent
booties. They don’t call it “booty” barre for nothing.<br />
<br />
<div class="wp-caption alignright" id="attachment_345" style="width: 310px;">
<a href="http://makingprogress.me/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/52.5.jpg"><img alt="Holly and Me!" class="size-medium wp-image-345" height="300" src="http://makingprogress.me/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/52.5-300x300.jpg" width="300" /></a><div class="wp-caption-text">
Holly and Me!</div>
</div>
<br />
While all the instructors that I’ve had while attending this studio
have been incredible, there is something inherently motivating about the
owner, Holly’s, voice. I love taking the Barre Circuit class with her
and her voice has this lilt to it that just makes me feel like she’s
rooting for me (and everyone) no matter how torturous the words (again, I
go back to “up and inch, down an inch”). She has created such a warm
and welcoming space with good music, good work outs and a great team of
staff. All the staff is welcoming , warm, supportive and encouraging,
but Holly’s voice really carries me through when I’m taking her classes.<br />
<br />
I should note that the studio also holds many Les Mils type classes
such as BodyPump, INSANITY (I, personally, burn SEVEN HUNDRED calories
an hour in this class!), GRIT, Zumba, Cardio Funk etc. (again,
descriptions can be found <a href="http://www.aspiretotalfitness.com/new-page-1/">here</a>).
They also have personal training, occasional monthly challenges, dance
and many other offerings that make this a full service studio for a full
body work out, not just for toning and strengthening but for HIIT (high
intensity interval training) and cardio training as well. I,
personally, am currently on a class kick and NEED the variety to keep me
engaged in my work outs. Long over are the days when I could just pedal
away on the elliptical with a book in hand. Between this studio, my 12
week weight lifting challenge (more on that later) and other studios /
gyms I frequent, my work outs here keep me interested, engaged and
pushing for more.<br />
<br />
Until next time, friends, maybe I’ll meet you at the barre! Luscious Lindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07978723382435960383noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5018296878604257543.post-89111963934724092992015-02-18T15:02:00.001-08:002015-02-18T15:02:12.218-08:00No Pain No Gain?I
was walking to and from my dentist’s office recently, about .8 miles
one way, and I was reflecting on how there is not a chance a year ago I
would have made that walk. Not only would I not have chosen to make the
walk, but I physically wouldn’t have been able to.<br />
<br />
In early 2010 I started experiencing terrible pain in my heels. I had
experienced plantar fasciitis before and it did not feel like that. I
treated it as though it was, though, for lack of any other ideas… long
stretches, especially in the morning, wearing a brace at night, self
golf ball and ice massage, etc., none of which helped. Finally the pain
got so bad that I went to a podiatrist and was told I had heel spurs.
And there started 3 years and thousands of dollars spent trying to
figure out how to do any walking or standing without pain. I bought $400
custom orthotics, I had several cortisone shots, I had to toss my
reasonable shoes (Danskos) and get more reasonable shoes (Merrills and
Keens). I tried acupuncture, massage, Arnica and athletic taping. I had
to give up my beloved boot camp and any other work out that had any sort
of impact. I spent months in physical therapy. I spent $1500 a foot to
get PRP (platelet rich plasma) injections that required me to be in a
boot for a month on each foot. I had very little hope, by the end of
this, that I would have any relief as NONE of these aforementioned
treatments worked for me.<br />
<br />
<div class="wp-caption alignnone" id="attachment_357" style="width: 310px;">
<a href="http://makingprogress.me/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/157.5.jpg"><img alt="157.5" class="wp-image-357 size-medium" height="183" src="http://makingprogress.me/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/157.5-300x183.jpg" width="300" /></a><div class="wp-caption-text">
My feetsies</div>
<div class="wp-caption-text">
<br /></div>
</div>
In conjunction with Chinese medicine plasters (which DID greatly
help) AND losing 100 pounds (read more about that in a post coming
soon), here is what I have back: My ability to walk. One could say I
could always walk, but every step I took was agony. Every. Single. Step.
I started walking on the outside of my feet to keep impact off my heels
and then developed bone spurs there, too. I was so miserable. As I was
walking home from the dentist, though, I was overwhelmed with such a
sense of gratitude that I can walk now with little to no pain. I can
work out regularly and at the intensity at which I desire. I can HIKE
(one of my favorite outdoor activities)! I can do so many things I
couldn’t do a year ago. And not just can, but WANT to.<br />
<br />
<div class="wp-caption alignnone" id="attachment_356" style="width: 310px;">
<a href="http://makingprogress.me/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/32.jpg"><img alt="Hiking for FUN! no pain, all gain!" class="size-medium wp-image-356" height="225" src="http://makingprogress.me/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/32-300x225.jpg" width="300" /></a><div class="wp-caption-text">
Hiking for FUN! no pain, all gain!</div>
<div class="wp-caption-text">
<br /></div>
</div>
So while “no pain, no gain” really refers to feeling the burn at the
gym, which is a good thing, when I hear that statement, all I think is
“no pain, so so so so much gain!”<br />
<br />
<br />Luscious Lindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07978723382435960383noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5018296878604257543.post-71650977492714720272015-02-18T15:01:00.000-08:002015-02-18T15:01:05.944-08:00The Story of Us (Me and My Fat) Part FourI
had considered weight loss surgery before I actually REALLY considered
weight loss surgery. In part I rejected the idea because I personally
didn’t feel comfortable with the lap-band or with the gastric bypass/
RNY options. I didn’t know about the sleeve surgery when I first started
researching and once I did, I started giving it more thought. I also
originally rejected VSG (vertical sleeve gastrectomy) because, frankly, I
didn’t want to give up all my favorite foods. I wanted to eat what I
wanted when I wanted, as much as I wanted. But my weight was creeping
back up scarily toward 300 and eventually I had just had enough. My feet
and ankles hurt, my clothes were too tight and I was physically
uncomfortable much of the time.<br />
I had maintained a relatively healthy lifestyle for several years; I
ate mostly Paleo, I tried to exercise regularly and I did at least one
cleanse a year. Yes, I drank wine and ate carbs and didn’t move as much
as I wanted to due to both my size and my heel spurts. But I couldn’t
lose weight. When I made the decision in August 2013 to get the surgery,
I went in full steam ahead. I had all my appointments within a few
weeks, my date was set in late October and I was ready to start my new
life.<br />
<br />
To prepare myself, I spent hours and hours and hours on Facebook WLS
(weight loss surgery) groups, talking to other WLS patients at different
spots throughout their journey and watching YouTube videos. There is a
whole community for weight loss surgery patients and I gained a wealth
of knowledge from them. Although you cannot fully know what to expect
until you go through it yourself, I had at least gathered enough
experiences to know if something I was going through was semi-normal or
not. And that made a difference for me.<br />
<br />
I should note here that my main motivation for wanting weight loss
surgery was not all that complicated. I did not hate myself at 300
pounds. In fact, I loved myself, valued myself, did the work <a href="http://makingprogress.me/contributors/the-story-of-us-me-and-my-fat-part-three-finding-myself-26-35/">(see part 3)</a>
I needed to do to feel confident and sexy and worthy at any size. So it
wasn’t really about vanity or confidence or looks. I was on blood
pressure medication but was otherwise healthy. I didn’t have diabetes
and my blood sugar and cholesterol were in check so my motivator wasn’t
even really health. It was movement. I wanted to have enough weight off
my body so that maybe my feet would get better (they did) and so I could
hike and not huff and puff. My heart was healthy enough to get me up a
hill, but I was carrying 150 extra pounds and it was HARD! I wanted to
just be a “normal” sized person and to be normally out of breath at the
top of a hill. I wanted to move my body outside more without the
limitations I had as someone between 270-295 pounds.<br />
On December 5<sup>th</sup>, 2013, I had about 75% of my stomach
removed and a hiatal hernia repaired. I got there at 6:00 in the morning
for my 8:30am surgery and up until I was wheeled into the operating
room, I was wondering when I was going to call my bluff. I walked into
that hospital fully sure that I’d walk out saying “Just kidding! Not
gunna, no way!” I was terrified. This was for real and this was forever.<br />
<br />
<div class="wp-caption aligncenter" id="attachment_309" style="width: 235px;">
<a href="http://makingprogress.me/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/2-got-my-IV-okay-12.5.13.jpg"><img alt="Surgery Date: 12/5/13" class="size-medium wp-image-309" height="300" src="http://makingprogress.me/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/2-got-my-IV-okay-12.5.13-225x300.jpg" width="225" /></a><div class="wp-caption-text">
Surgery Date: 12/5/13</div>
</div>
<br />
And although my recovery was atypically long and painful, once I was
through it, the weight just melted off. I lost 70 pounds in the first 4 ½
months and once I started exercising, things screeched down to a
moderate 5 pounds a month. But those 5 pounds have been coming off
consistently and I’m stronger and faster and in better shape than I’ve
ever been in my entire life.<br />
<br />
This is where you find me now. 10 months post op from VSG, down over
100 pounds, working out 4-6 days a week (more on that later, I’m sure).
It has been a wild, wild ride, let me tell you. And I think all the
things I’ve learned along the way may be better said in another blog, as
I have so so so much to say on that, but I will say this. I am so
thankful to have received the gift of the sleeve and grateful to have
lost the weight I have lost: while I don’t feel I have changed very much
inside, I do feel as though I have become more fully myself. I walk and
hike FOR FUN, I take any opportunity to get up and get moving, I’ve
found work out classes and routines I am absolutely in love with. Life
is so very very good.<br />
<br />
Here are my 10 month progress photos. Picture on the left is 301.2 on 11/22/13, picture on the right is 200.0 on 10/5/14.<br />
<br />
Thank you for tuning in and walking through this journey with me. If you are just catching up, here are links to <a href="http://lusciouslindsay.blogspot.com/2015/02/the-story-of-us-me-and-my-fat-part-one.html" target="_blank">Part One</a>, <a href="http://lusciouslindsay.blogspot.com/2015/02/welcome-back-friends-so-we-enter-phase.html" target="_blank" title="The Story of Us (Me and My Fat) – Part Two – The Middle years (19-26) by Lindsay">Part Two </a>and <a href="http://lusciouslindsay.blogspot.com/2015/02/the-story-of-us-me-and-my-fat-part-three.html" target="_blank" title="The Story of Us (Me and My Fat) – Part Three – Finding myself (26-35)">Part Three</a>. You can watch my WLS from beginning to end you <a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCRQk6FWpAfWwom7AotWL2vA/videos">YouTube </a>as well.<br />
<br />
Until next time, friends… make it a wonderful day!<br />
<div class="wp-caption aligncenter" id="attachment_312" style="width: 310px;">
<a href="http://makingprogress.me/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/10.5.14-ten-months-Side.jpg"><img alt="10.5.14 - ten months Side" class="size-medium wp-image-312" height="300" src="http://makingprogress.me/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/10.5.14-ten-months-Side-300x300.jpg" width="300" /></a><div class="wp-caption-text">
10.5.14 – ten months Side</div>
<div class="wp-caption-text">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div class="wp-caption aligncenter" id="attachment_311" style="width: 310px;">
<a href="http://makingprogress.me/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/10.5.14-ten-months-front.jpg"><img alt="10.5.14 - ten months front" class="size-medium wp-image-311" height="300" src="http://makingprogress.me/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/10.5.14-ten-months-front-300x300.jpg" width="300" /></a><div class="wp-caption-text">
10.5.14 – ten months front</div>
</div>
<footer class="clearfix"><br /></footer>Luscious Lindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07978723382435960383noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5018296878604257543.post-45400940294447179282015-02-18T14:58:00.000-08:002015-02-18T14:58:00.714-08:00The Story of Us (Me and My Fat) Part Threey 26th year started with me at 320 pounds, (<a href="http://lusciouslindsay.blogspot.com/2015/02/welcome-back-friends-so-we-enter-phase.html" target="_blank" title="The Story of Us (Me and My Fat)-Part One by Lindsay Flye">see here for Part Two</a>)
totally miserable, chronically single and stuck in a destructive
diet/binge mentality. And then the movie “Supersize Me” happened. And it
literally changed my life. As I mentioned in Part Two, I was eating
McDonald’s almost every day. Once I saw “Supersize Me,” that changed
immediately and I quit cold turkey. Within 2 months, I had dropped about
20 pounds and I had not even tried; all from cutting out my almost
nightly McDonald’s binges.<br />
<br />
At this point I felt ready and willing to date… to put myself out
there. I had NO idea how to do it, so I signed up for several online
dating websites and put myself out in the field. And I started to date!
And it was amazing and interesting and heart wrenching and awful and
beautiful all at the same time. Because I had not dated since I was 19, I
actually FELT like I managed those “relationships” as though I was 19. I
had few boyfriends, but several lovers and many, many, MANY dates. In
starting my dating in my mid-twenties, I didn’t fully know how to relate
to men OR myself WITH men! I got put into a “friends with benefits”
category more often than not because I didn’t know how to stand up for
what I wanted. Deep down, I felt like I should take what I could get. It
took two pivotal affairs that left me feeling absolutely broken, worn
and determined to do better that put me into therapy at 28. That
therapist was, to this day, one of the most influential people in my
life. She encouraged me to attend a handful of Adult Children of
Alcoholics 12 step program which then led me to Codependents Anonymous
(CODA).<br />
<br />
I was in the CODA program and worked the 12 steps for about two
years. I put in the time and I did the work. I began to finally feel
worthy. I realized so many things throughout that process. In beginning
to heal how I related in all relationships, I was able to come from a
place of self-love and self-acceptance for the first time in my entire
life, that I can remember. I was still obese and I was still always
trying to lose weight, but I worked out, I cooked more whole food
recipes, ate less processed food and maintained a weight of around 275
for many years.<br />
<br />
<div class="wp-caption alignnone" id="attachment_267" style="width: 235px;">
<a href="http://makingprogress.me/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/46.-Me-at-falls.jpg"><img alt="275" class="size-medium wp-image-267" height="300" src="http://makingprogress.me/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/46.-Me-at-falls-225x300.jpg" width="225" /></a><div class="wp-caption-text">
275</div>
</div>
<br />
By the time I was 31, I had bought a home, found a legitimate
boyfriend who genuinely cared for me (we are still together), and
started going to a local boot camp program. And here things accelerate a
bit. Boot camp led me to lose 10 pounds (at the time I went from 285 to
275. At 275, not able to fudge the scale further, I started working
with an amazing naturopath. With her help, I got down to 265. And again
the scale froze. My naturopath wrote me a prescription for injectable
HCG (human growth hormone) and I did that for 2 rounds and lost 32
pounds, getting me down to my lowest adult weight at the time of 232. I
felt AMAZING!!!<br />
<div class="wp-caption alignnone" id="attachment_270" style="width: 310px;">
<a href="http://makingprogress.me/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/0262.jpg"><img alt="026" class="wp-image-270 size-medium" height="225" src="http://makingprogress.me/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/0262-300x225.jpg" width="300" /></a><div class="wp-caption-text">
235</div>
</div>
<br />
And then I went on vacation. My boyfriend and I went to Maui and I
ate POUNDS of cheese and drank A LOT of wine. And… when you’ve had 500
calories for 6 weeks and no carbs for 2 weeks following that and already
have a deprivation issue… I ate everything in sight. I gained the 32
pounds plus another 30 and was back to 290 within 15 months.<br />
<br />
By this time, I couldn’t continue with boot camp as I had developed
heel spurs and could barely walk at all, much less work out. I couldn’t
shop, hike, go for walks or do anything that involved prolonged standing
on my feet due to the intense pain I had from the spurs. I was
couch-bound, spending thousands of dollars on treatment and back on the
diet rampage. My diets looked different by this time, however, and I was
doing juice cleanses and Whole30s and eating Paleo 80% of the time. It
was the inactivity and the other 20% of the time that was the problem.<br />
<br />
By summer 2013, it occurred to me to consider surgery options. And
we’ll go there next! Stay tuned for part four of four of The Story of Us
(Me and My Fat).<br />
<br />
If you’re just catching up, here are links to <a href="http://lusciouslindsay.blogspot.com/2015/02/the-story-of-us-me-and-my-fat-part-one.html" target="_blank" title="The Story of Us (Me and My Fat)-Part One by Lindsay Flye">Part One</a> and <a href="http://lusciouslindsay.blogspot.com/2015/02/welcome-back-friends-so-we-enter-phase.html" target="_blank" title="The Story of Us (Me and My Fat) – Part Two – The Middle years (19-26) by Lindsay">Part Two</a> again!Luscious Lindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07978723382435960383noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5018296878604257543.post-68094635082343998082015-02-18T14:54:00.001-08:002015-02-18T14:55:49.530-08:00The Story of Us (Me and My Fat) Part TwoWelcome back friends! So we enter phase two of the story of me and my fat. I left off in <a href="http://lusciouslindsay.blogspot.com/2015/02/the-story-of-us-me-and-my-fat-part-one.html" target="_blank">Part One</a>
just as I’m heading to college. Ahhhh…. College…. And I thought high
school was torture. The good news is, I made a few friends and was
having fun with them. The bad news is that I had followed my boyfriend,
M, down to the town the college was in and by the time I moved there,
two weeks after he’d made the move, he’d moved another girl into his
apartment and had taken his phone off the ringer. It wasn’t a great
start to the year and I’m not going to lie… I lost my shit. I listened
to sad records. I cried all the time. I participated excessively in
drugs and alcohol. I rang his phone constantly (pre cell phone days). I
ate and ate and ate and ate and ate. I ate pizzas, I ate ice cream, I
ate obscene amounts of candy. I’d eat a meal in the cafeteria just to go
back to my room and eat again. I made the Freshman 15 into the Freshman
35 (I was AT LEAST 220 when I left my freshman year of college). I was
absolutely miserable.<br />
<br />
I made the decision to move home after my freshman year of college,
at which time M and I were back together (trust me, I know… hindsight is
20/20) and within a few weeks, he had me over to introduce me to his
female roommate and promptly told me he was engaged to her. That was how
we broke up for good… he told me he was marrying someone else. That
night I was even more destructive than normal (as you can imagine, it’s a
shock when your boyfriend of three years tells you he’s engaged) but I
woke up the next morning a changed woman. I stopped all extracurricular
partying, I stopped dating and I buckled down and focused on school. I
took 21 credit hours a quarter, graduated with my Bachelor’s degree in
3.5 years and remained dateless and celibate for the next seven years of
my life.<br />
<br />
<img alt="" class="alignright wp-image-228 size-medium" src="http://site2.makingprogress.me/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/220-Or-more-Lindsay1-225x300.jpg" height="300" width="225" /><br />
<br />
During the time I was working on my undergraduate degree, I lived at
home with my parents. My father was in the midst of a serious drug and
alcohol problem and life at home was stressful. I continued to eat to
cope with my feelings… It might be fair to say I ate to avoid having ANY
feelings. I was prescribed an anti-depressant my sophomore year and I
would argue that a good chunk of why I stayed so secluded during these
years was because I was over prescribed the antidepressant. I spent
seven years of my life being academically very productive, but on a
personal side becoming increasingly stunted. I had a few friends, but I
didn’t go out much. I went to class, I studied hard and I watched TV. I
was essentially a hermit. I was also in an obsessive diet/ binge/ diet/
binge cycle.<br />
<br />
While I have no actual clue how high my weight creeped up during this
time, I’m guessing it was around 280. I lived a dichotomous existence.
On one hand I was SO proud of what I was doing academically but I hated
myself. I would even go so far as to say detested. I got by but that was
all I did. I did NOT live.<br />
<br />
I moved to Southern California in the Fall of 2000 where I started a
two year graduate degree program. Here is where I started to have hope
of a life more than what I was allowing myself. I had my very first
apartment, at age 22 and I made very good friends who I simply adored.
Within my first six months, I started on Weight Watchers and proceeded
to lose fifty pounds. I learned to cook, I went out every now and then
and I put a sticky note on my mirror in my bedroom that said “DO NOT BE
AFRAID TO LIVE LIFE.” That message sticks with me to this day. There is
no room in my life, as it is now, to be afraid to live it. But back
then, I just didn’t know any better. I had wants, dreams, desires… but I
did not know how to go after them.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://site2.makingprogress.me/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/Lindsay-300lbs.jpg"><img alt="" class="alignright wp-image-223 size-medium" src="http://site2.makingprogress.me/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/Lindsay-300lbs-146x300.jpg" height="300" width="146" /></a><br />
<br />
I
had started putting weight back on by the time I graduated and moved
home. Upon re-entry to my folks’ house, I started gaining weight at a
rapid rate. My father was still in the throes of addiction, my mother
was deeply depressed and my 14 year old brother was hanging on the best
he could. I applied to hundreds of jobs during the post 9/11 recession
and took the first one offered to me, six months after the move home. It
took nearly another year or more after that to get an apartment and
make the final move out of the parental home. I worked for a great
company with an abusive boss and guess what I did to cope? I ate. And
ate, and ate, and ate some more. To give you an idea, I would eat a
coffee cake or a bagel and cream cheese and a large mocha each morning
for breakfast. I worked near a mall downtown and I’d have mall food most
days for lunch, consisting of a deli sandwich, side pasta salad and a
cookie (or several) OR the greasy spoon Chinese food… always the orange
chicken, chow mein and teriyaki chicken. Dinners were almost always
McDonald’s, or another fast food. Massive amounts of fast food. And ice
cream. Lots and lots of ice cream.<br />
I rang in my 26th birthday at my highest recorded weight, 319 pounds.<br />
<br />
Things are really heating up here and the best is yet to come! Stay tuned for Part Three in the Story of Us (Me and My Fat).Luscious Lindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07978723382435960383noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5018296878604257543.post-58780234656947379072015-02-18T14:50:00.001-08:002015-02-18T14:55:20.246-08:00The Story of Us (Me and My Fat) Part OneI did not grow up thinking I was fat. I had a happy early childhood
and don’t remember having any younger year issues with my size or how my
size related to the world. I did, however, weigh more than other
children in my age/height range. I am convinced, to this day, that I
just have dense bones. ;><br />
<br />
My mother was overweight and struggled with her weight her whole
life. When I was 11, in an effort to make sure I didn’t turn out just
like her, she put me on a 600 calorie a day diet. I don’t remember all
that I was able to eat, but I remember an abundance of nonfat yogurt,
string cheese and deli turkey slices. I remember having to regulate
myself, with her help, and track calories. I lost 15-ish pounds and my
mom seemed happy so I guess I was happy, too. Right?<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-9z619Y0hhME/VOUW_G_8z1I/AAAAAAAAAY8/q1IwXqScazE/s1600/1-tween-birthday.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-9z619Y0hhME/VOUW_G_8z1I/AAAAAAAAAY8/q1IwXqScazE/s1600/1-tween-birthday.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
Wrong. I felt insecure and unsure of who I was and where I fit in
with all the others who were more “normal” (aka more slim) than me.
Entering the early stages of puberty, I felt like I wasn’t good enough
just as I was. I had to slim down to fit in. And I was so so so hungry.
In my mother’s attempt to not make me like her, she made me just like
her… weight and food obsessed, low self-esteem and a deep sense that
being heavy makes one unworthy of the best life has to offer. Bless her
heart, she really did (and does) the best she can. Dieting by the age of
11 set up the foundation for a deprivation issue that I struggle with
to this very day – when I don’t think there is going to be enough food
for me, I panic. Deep, primal, pure panic. And if I get very hungry, I
kind of flip out… deprivation mentality at its best.<br />
<br />
The overarching message I heard from 11 onward was that when I lost
some weight… when I was a smaller size… when I was a more “normal”
weight … then I’d get the friends, the boyfriend, the social life I so
desired. I was a social kid but didn’t have an abundance of friends (and
certainly no boyfriends), and over time, I didn’t think I really
deserved them. I took what I could get, putting me in a lot of strange
and borderline abusive friendships, and eventually, relationships.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="http://site2.makingprogress.me/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/Lindsay-768x1024.jpg"><img alt="" class="alignright wp-image-19 size-medium" src="http://site2.makingprogress.me/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/Lindsay-768x1024-225x300.jpg" height="300" width="225" /></a> </div>
<br />
My
junior year of high school I started dating “M”, two years my senior,
who went to another high school and I was with him, off and on, for
three years. It was a mess. I was a mess. While I’ll go into that
relationship more in Part Two, it was my very first relationship
(albeit, not my last) that could be classified as “love addiction.” I
couldn’t let him go… and I was dieting constantly…. Even eating/drinking
nothing more than breath mints to try to drop a few pounds. My
self-esteem dropped lower and lower. And then high school was over and
it was time for college (Stay tuned for Part Two)!<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="http://makingprogress.me/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/5.jpg"><img alt="Lindsay Flye Improving" class="alignright size-medium wp-image-18" src="http://makingprogress.me/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/5-300x225.jpg" height="225" width="300" /></a> </div>
<br />
When
I look back on my life thus far, I think in terms of “what I weighed
when”. When I was 11 I was 135 pounds and got down to 118. I started
high school at probably 145 and I took my senior pictures at 175 and I
graduated high school at 185. While college and beyond will be covered
more in Part Two, I hope that I can think of my life, eventually, in
terms of accomplishments, successes, adventures, love stories and
beautiful moments. After all, it is all of these things, and more, that
define who we are, not a number on a scale or a size on a tag. We are
more than our weight; we are AMAZING!<br />
<br />
Stay tuned to read The Story of Us (Me and My Fat) – Part Two – The Middle years (19-26)Luscious Lindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07978723382435960383noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5018296878604257543.post-87038578464667032682014-03-31T15:40:00.001-07:002014-03-31T15:40:42.546-07:00The things I learned in MexicoI seemed to have learned quite a bit to my recent trip to the Riviera Maya. I've compiled some of my lessons for your reading pleasure. :) <br />
<br />
You don't need a lot of clothes:<br />
Seriously. I packed A LOT of clothes. I managed to pack them mostly in ziploc airtight bags in a carry-on, but still, I sold it as "I need options." Guess what, you really don't. When you are on a tropical vacation, you need a pair or two of comfy shorts, two T-shirts, a few tank tops, a dress (maybe), 1-2 pairs of flip flops, PJs, a pair of comfy walking shoes/ tennies and your swim suits (and a cover up if you want one). I needed 2 swim suits even though I brought three. I brought SIGNIFICANTLY more clothing than what I mentioned above and wore almost none of it. Once I was there and it was hot and humid, I went for comfort, not style. There were full days I wore ONLY a swimsuit until I was showering and putting on PJs. <br />
<br />
Driving is crazy, no one follows many traffic rules and stop signs mean absolutely nothing: <br />
Need I say more? People are parked all over, they use the shoulders to pass, they use hazards as brake lights, straddle lanes and never ever did I see someone make a full or even a California stop at a stop sign. DO NOT drink and drive... you need to be alert to drive in the Riviera Maya (and I suspect all over Mexico). But once you're driving and you understand that the only rules are that there are no rules... it wasn't as bad as I was expecting. Totally doable.Which leads me to...<br />
<br />
Be sure of what kind of insurance you need regarding your rental car:<br />
I had collision and theft coverage through the credit card I was using to pay for the rental car. I had all my documentation. I was pretty sure I needed nothing else. I DID NOT double check that I had liability insurance. I am sure I would have been covered, but because I didn't double check this with my Visa, I ended up paying $467 for a mid sized rental car for 8 days ($315 of which was liability insurance). Call your credit companies and BE SURE you know what coverage you have, what coverage you need, and what it will cost you. Bring proper documentation with you if you are fully covered so you can decline anything you don't need at the rental counter. <br />
<br />
Warm water isn't needed for showering after a day in the sun:<br />
I didn't experience any warm water during showering in our rental home. And you think "aw shucks, that sucks." but you know what? It doesn't. It feels great. It's not COLD cold, just mildly cold (more cold than warm, though). Washing hair in the cold water is the worst part, but you just do it fast. After a day in the sun, the water feels colder than it probably really is and, honestly, is SO refreshing!! <br />
<br />
Try to avoid paying for groceries and gas with cash/pesos:<br />
I didn't even consider using anything other than my visa for grocery shopping but when I bought gas and the attendant told me that they didn't accept Visa, I didn't think anything of it. I wish I'd asked more (B/c they TOTALLY did accept visa, of this I am sure). When I handed over my 690 pesos for my 682 bill, the attendant flipped my 500 bill into a 50 and tried to tell him that I gave him the wrong amount. I argued with him about this and upon my third reiteration that I did, indeed, give him a 500 bill, he gave me my change. But I was furious (and still am) and am disappointed that the culture promotes this kind of blatant fraud. Which leads me to....<br />
<br />
Being heckled is exhausting:<br />
Everyone said "just don't let it bother you" but it did bother me. I was able to ignore most of it, but when I was told I was not nice because I didn't make a purchase or didn't offer enough money for a purchase at a certain vendor's shop, I thought that was a little far. Also, I want to take time to look at things without someone standing at my shoulder pretty much yelling at me the whole time. My best shopping experiences in Mexico were when the shop keepers kept an eye on me but didn't harass me before, during or after my time there. which leads me to: <br />
<br />
Negotiate, negotiate, negotiate:<br />
Everything is negotiable. I WAY overpaid for most of my souvenirs but some of them I loved so much I really didn't care at all. My travel companion and best girlfriend nailed it... if they didn't want to pay the price she was offering, she left. If they changed their minds, they would come after her and give her the item for her asking price. If not, she would look elsewhere or re-assess and go back if she wanted it bad enough. I give her major kudos for her bartering skills. <br />
<br />
You won't be hungry enough for all those snacks:<br />
I packed SO MANY snacks. I DID need some snacks on the plane so for those I was grateful, but I also brought, like, 20 protein bars with me. I didn't eat a single one. Not a single one. Between eggs for breakfast, tuna salad or cheese/crackers for lunch and either home made tacos, leftovers, or a meal out for dinner (oh and the multiple mimosas/ margaritas/ pina coladas/ glasses of wine/ etc/ etc / etc), I didn't have room or hunger for anything else. I barely snacked at all. I had breakfast, lunch, dinner and maybe a few bites of things here and there. Next time, I think I'll bring a few bars, nuts/seeds/crackers and that's it. You can buy almost anything else you need there. Don't waste luggage space on food. And frankly, it's too hot in Mexico to eat much. I drank most of my calories on cold beverages. :) <br />
<br />
Time is relative when you're close to the equator: <br />
It's light at 6am (or maybe earlier) and it's dark by 6pm. I woke up at 6:30-7am most days and was in bed by 9:30pm most nights. I didn't think once that I was going to bed too early or getting up too early. It's wonderful to enjoy the solace of an early morning on the ocean and by the time that 9pm comes around, I was TIRED and grateful to have a place to rest my head for the night. I remember Hawaii being much the same... early to bed, early to rise. I kind of love it. :)<br />
<br />
<br />
Bug spray, bug spray, bug spray:<br />
While I didn't notice bug spray was needed too much during the day when you're on the ocean, you most definitely need it if you are elsewhere off the coast and the second that sun starts to set the bugs come out. While my travel friends all wore Deet based spray or insect armor (a more natural bug spray), I used only bug off synergy with witch hazel. I got one bite on the first night and at least 4 others in our party were eaten alive, despite the Deet/insect armor. I barely had enough to last me the week, but it got me through and as someone who mosquitoes LOOOOOVE, I had no better test to how well this product worked. I highly recommend it and am pleasantly surprised that I got off so easy.<br />
http://www.amazon.com/Synergy-Essential-Blend-Undiluted-Therapeutic/dp/B006OR6CDC<br />
<br />
<br />
I am sure I have many more life lessons for you, but this is where my story ends for today. It was a wonderful trip, overall, with wonderful people and I'm so blessed and grateful to have had the opportunity to have taken it. I very much love my life and the people in it. :) Have a great day everyone!!<br />
<br />Luscious Lindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07978723382435960383noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5018296878604257543.post-10262347641244076812014-03-13T16:24:00.000-07:002014-03-13T16:24:20.429-07:00I have gone through everything in my closet. Everything. I'm keeping everything that fits now and everything that is currently too small. I was all excited about giving things away and then all of a sudden, I choked. <br /><br />Because I've been here before. I lost a bunch of weight and put it all back on. I am repeatedly reminded by a coworker to "be careful" of gaining all the weight back. Not that I don't think about that enough on my own without the reminder, but that, coupled with the few pound gain this week, has me very emotionally stressed out. <br /><br />So I made two bags of clothes. One that I will give away when I am ready, and one that I will keep until I've been at goal for at least one year. So I'm not in the same situation I was 3 years ago when I gained the weight back and literally had no clothes. Now... I don't anticipate I will gain the weight back, but.... I'm just too scared. <br /><br />And that is okay. I can be scared. I SHOULD be scared. Just scared enough to keep me from drinking wine too often, or getting frozen yogurt every night or having buttered popcorn for dinner. Accepting my fear will help me not take myself out to dinner tonight. Accepting that it's okay not to be ready... to face each hurdle as they come and to take my time working through them... will keep me from making poor food choices. Eating to numb my emotions cannot help me. So I am going to let myself be scared. Even if it means holding on to clothes two sizes too big until I feel confident enough that I will never need them again. Luscious Lindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07978723382435960383noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5018296878604257543.post-78449136304510496942014-02-07T09:32:00.000-08:002014-02-07T09:32:39.967-08:00Wistful snow daysA couple of weekends ago, I spent some time in the cafe that was my home away from home when I lived in the Clinton neighborhood and I was reminiscing on the six years I spent in that part of town. How much I loved it, how I loved being so close to downtown, how I loved being so close to everything! And I could walk to my favorite restaurant, bar and cafe. I ended up going home and looking at real estate in the area (yeah right, SO over my ever possible price range) and also apartments, just to see. Seeing that apartments were the same price as my mortgage stopped that search short and I decided to just embrace how much I loved being there then and try to embrace the comfort of my beautiful home now (despite my cruel neighbors and not-so-nice neighborhood). <br />
<br />
But yesterday, when it started to snow, I got wistful again. I never spent much time inside when it snowed in my neighborhood off Clinton Street. I lived in a lovely residential neighborhood in a tri-plex so I never felt like I was in an apartment. When it snowed, I'd bundle up in my finest hiking shoes, cutest cold weather hat and get out in the snow! I had a friend who lived down the street so I'd gather her up and we'd walk the neighborhood. We'd go to the cafe for coffee, we'd go to NoHos for lunch, we'd go to New Season's for supplies. It would take us an HOUR to get to New Seasons and back in the kind of snow we had the few times we had snow, but it was a BLAST! We were warm enough and so happy to be in a quiet neighborhood winter wonderland. It felt like magic.<br />
<br />
And frankly, I miss that. I don't have that here, living around watchful and spiteful neighbors, off two busy streets, behind a vacant high school, the rush of the freeway behind me. There is just so little magic to be had for me here on days like this. I try to revel in the comfort in my warm space (both literally and figuratively), and focus my energy on making a great meal, on reading a great book, on watching a great movie ... really taking advantage of the downtime.<br />
<br />
But I think, even after 4.5 years, my heart still belongs to Clinton. There are some days that I feel there is a lot I would give to be back there. But then I remember where I am. And how I got here. And I try to remember that I AM grateful and I AM happy. That sometimes it's just hard to let go of certain aspects of the past simply because they were so beautiful. And that's okay.<br />
<br />
I can love it here and love it there at the same time. I guess the challenge now is finding the magic here somehow. And if not, then I find it within and not without and hold tight to that instead.<br />
<br />
Happy snowmen making out there, friends! <br />
<br />
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<br />Luscious Lindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07978723382435960383noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5018296878604257543.post-89533403503441918272013-11-05T14:59:00.001-08:002013-11-05T14:59:49.250-08:00Southwest Travels Part Duex (2 of 2)<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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Friday 11/1 marked a new month and the beginning of an
action packed adventure weekend! Tess and I had a late start to the day but we
headed up to Jerome, AZ around 12:30pm so we arrived shortly before 3pm. We
realized, upon arrival, that most of the shops closed around 5pm we busted arse
through town to check out all the cute shops and galleries, of which there are
many. Luckily we are power shoppers and not only did we get some great stuff,
but we did almost all our shopping before the shops closed! We also had photo
ops of the views and some unique things we saw about town (like a crumbling
jail!) Once we checked in and got settled in the Connor Hotel, we headed up to
the Asylum restaurant at The Grand Hotel at the very top of the hill (the
entire town is built into a side of a mountain, about 5300 feet elevation and
used to be a copper mining town). </div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-qCEDGulNgx8/Unl2xp5sI2I/AAAAAAAAAP4/_rOkX07Mtow/s1600/IMG_20131102_083647.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-qCEDGulNgx8/Unl2xp5sI2I/AAAAAAAAAP4/_rOkX07Mtow/s320/IMG_20131102_083647.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The view from Jerome</td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-pM6Eq8ufTmI/Unl2w41QS1I/AAAAAAAAAP0/2lIsN20prW4/s1600/IMG_20131102_083832.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-pM6Eq8ufTmI/Unl2w41QS1I/AAAAAAAAAP0/2lIsN20prW4/s320/IMG_20131102_083832.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The Connor Hotel - our crash pad</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-_GE36XRTqV8/Unl2bsnflOI/AAAAAAAAAPM/cAgZZqwxDr0/s1600/20131102_131817.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-_GE36XRTqV8/Unl2bsnflOI/AAAAAAAAAPM/cAgZZqwxDr0/s320/20131102_131817.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Selfie with Jerome behind us on the mountain</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The Asylum was still gruesomely decorated for Halloween. It
was definitely spooktastic. We got seated right away and enjoyed a two hour
fancy meal with a side of awkward winking from the waiter. Hahaha!
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We intended to maybe go listen to some live music but I was
so overly full from dinner it was all I could do just to get my home. It was
good, though, because Tess and I just sat and talked for hours. Finally I could
not keep my eyes open a minute longer and around 11pm I was out like a light. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Saturday we packed up and had breakfast at the Mile High
Café. It was really very good and we finished a bit of shopping we didn’t get
to hit the day before. Around 11am or so, we headed out of town toward Sedona.
The road out of town was so windy that it took us 30 minutes to go only 10
miles. AND come to find out, we were heading south (when we should have been
heading north) so we had to turn around and go back through Jerome and down the
mountain and finally headed toward Sedona. We got to Sedona around 1pm. The
original plan was to have lunch there and head straight to the Grand Canyon but
we were both enjoying Sedona so much that we decided to enjoy the afternoon
there and hit the canyon in the morning so not to be rushed or miss out on
anything. We spent a good chunk of the afternoon walking through an art fair
where I proceeded to spend more money than I should have on gifts and goodies. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-WN56ZdPHgSM/Unl2dIgVAtI/AAAAAAAAAPY/hvj2QJzM9Ac/s1600/20131102_145917.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-WN56ZdPHgSM/Unl2dIgVAtI/AAAAAAAAAPY/hvj2QJzM9Ac/s320/20131102_145917.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Beautiful red rocks everywhere</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-X6MEe_mtIxE/Unl2qL1W8NI/AAAAAAAAAPw/AavENp185pw/s1600/20131102_161529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-X6MEe_mtIxE/Unl2qL1W8NI/AAAAAAAAAPw/AavENp185pw/s320/20131102_161529.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Just one of many amazing outcroppings in Sedona</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
We headed out of town around 4:30 or so and luckily made it
through the curviest part of our drive before dark. We got to our hotel around
6:30 and had some grub at the hotel restaurant. Afterwards, we moved to the
lounge area and ordered several rounds of wine (beer for Tessa) and taught two
Australian couples how to play Yahtzee. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-pofqIdzWZrA/Unl3DehcfAI/AAAAAAAAAQ0/VB5svnEiHAg/s1600/996657_10202523517835986_1379477760_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-pofqIdzWZrA/Unl3DehcfAI/AAAAAAAAAQ0/VB5svnEiHAg/s320/996657_10202523517835986_1379477760_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Yahtzee lessons proved fruitful as the blonde kicked all our arses</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We had decided to watch the sun rise at the Grand Canyon so
Sunday started for us at 5:05 AM and we were on the road by 5:20 toward the
Canyon. We really had no idea where we were going but luckily we got to bypass
the park entrance fee and we found a great view point right away. It was dark
and FREEZING and we had to wait about an hour for the sun to fully rise but it
was amazing and incredible. There ended up being a huge busload of other people
there, but despite that, Tessa and I enjoyed the serenity of the moment.
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-fU-Rf34-XwY/Unl2nZARBhI/AAAAAAAAAPg/ieVYe_l0riI/s1600/20131103_070057.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-fU-Rf34-XwY/Unl2nZARBhI/AAAAAAAAAPg/ieVYe_l0riI/s320/20131103_070057.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sunrise at the Grand Canyon</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-1L2TpxyAxs4/Unl2_375yII/AAAAAAAAAQc/X_5hKHW-gR0/s1600/IMG_20131104_145244.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-1L2TpxyAxs4/Unl2_375yII/AAAAAAAAAQc/X_5hKHW-gR0/s320/IMG_20131104_145244.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sunkissed</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-iyc7kT0a3Nc/Unl22XtBZlI/AAAAAAAAAQI/oj-cb0-wObI/s1600/IMG_20131103_084923.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-iyc7kT0a3Nc/Unl22XtBZlI/AAAAAAAAAQI/oj-cb0-wObI/s320/IMG_20131103_084923.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">amazing</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-YN_xwE7OEas/Unl2-bNRhqI/AAAAAAAAAQQ/yNX64O-rl74/s1600/20131103_090033.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-YN_xwE7OEas/Unl2-bNRhqI/AAAAAAAAAQQ/yNX64O-rl74/s320/20131103_090033.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The canyon in full morning light.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We found breakfast down the road at El Torvar Lodge which
was quite lovely and then back to the hotel for a 2 hour nap (luckily we got a
1pm check out). Then up, shower and it was time for Tessa and I to part ways as
she headed back down home to Phoenix and I headed northwest to Las Vegas. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
On the way to Vegas, I did stop at the Hoover Dam and
although I did not drive all the way through it, I’m glad I stopped. I also
loved the viewpoint over Lake Mead. From there, it was only 30 minutes to
Layne’s house…</div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-hv44HYHW-YI/Unl3ClPe4vI/AAAAAAAAAQ4/DUEuv23OrkE/s1600/IMG_20131104_145529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-hv44HYHW-YI/Unl3ClPe4vI/AAAAAAAAAQ4/DUEuv23OrkE/s320/IMG_20131104_145529.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Welcome to Nevada and then reminder to turn my watch back an hour!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-pSIOgRzLKus/Unl3CGXFxvI/AAAAAAAAAQs/3VBrv_b5W_0/s1600/IMG_20131104_145635.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-pSIOgRzLKus/Unl3CGXFxvI/AAAAAAAAAQs/3VBrv_b5W_0/s320/IMG_20131104_145635.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Lake Mead lookout</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And the rest is yet to tell! Have a wonderful week everyone!
</div>
Luscious Lindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07978723382435960383noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5018296878604257543.post-52785941936599981242013-11-05T14:41:00.001-08:002013-11-05T14:42:46.414-08:00Southwest Traves Part Duex (1 of 2)<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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And so the adventure continues! ….. I arrived in Phoenix
around 5pm-ish on Saturday 10/26. I had just enough time to unload, settle in
for a bit and put on my borrowed Halloween Costume. Tessa (my hostess who so
kindly let me crash her pad for the whole week) and her boyfriend Esteban had plans
to go to a Halloween party so Tessa loaned me a costume, we grabbed a sushi
dinner and to the party we went! </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-65lw1FsAwGY/UnlzGhgz5GI/AAAAAAAAAOI/BcJ4JvhulGU/s1600/28+there+is+a+new+sheriffin+town.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-65lw1FsAwGY/UnlzGhgz5GI/AAAAAAAAAOI/BcJ4JvhulGU/s320/28+there+is+a+new+sheriffin+town.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">There is a new sheriff in town!</td></tr>
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<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-z-w53XxH7Qs/UnlzM65FwPI/AAAAAAAAAOY/YW1qBh9RpF4/s1600/29+the+penguin+and+the+sheriff.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-z-w53XxH7Qs/UnlzM65FwPI/AAAAAAAAAOY/YW1qBh9RpF4/s320/29+the+penguin+and+the+sheriff.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The Penguin and the Sheriff</td></tr>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
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The party was HOPPING and there were tons of great costumes
there, but we didn’t know too many folks so we didn’t stay too late. It had
been a long day for me anyway, being as I was only in Palm Springs that
morning, so I did get tucked in for my beauty rest by 11pm, which I was
appreciative for.<br />
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Sunday (10/27) was my visiting with friend’s day. I met up
with one of my best friends from high school in Central Phoenix and we had an
amazing meal at Chelsea’s kitchen. I had lost and regained contact with her so
many times since high school with this last bout being at least 8 or 9 years. I
was SO happy to see her! She looked SO amazing and exactly the same. </div>
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<br /></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Susan</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Combating bright Arizona sunshine (the anti squint faces)</td></tr>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
We sat and caught up for hours and I was so sad when I had
to leave her, but alas… I had other plans that afternoon in Scottsdale. I met
my mentor, Deborah, at Houston’s in Scottsdale and enjoyed a wonderful snack
with her and her fiancé, Carlos. I worked with / under Deb on several projects
during my early career with my company and she had (and still has) a great
influence on me. I am very happy I got to see her during this visit. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The lovely Deborah and her fiance Carlos (and me)</td></tr>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
Monday I did have to work but Tessa put me up in her office
so I had a quiet and bright place to hunker down during my week days, which I
was eternally grateful for after working from bed with a nasty cold most of the
week before. Tessa has 3 pugs so it was hilarious to see which one wanted to come
and sit at my feet during the day, to watch the puppy wrestle with the others,
and listen to the biggest one snort and snore. They were definitely
entertaining! </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
Monday evening, Tessa took me to The Music Man in Scottsdale. We had no idea
what to expect and when we noticed that the theatre was tucked away behind a
strip mall, we were nervous. When we walked in and saw several “actors” none of
which were over 17, we were officially skeptical. But, much to our pleasant
surprise, we were genuinely entertained by the show and the cast and had a
wonderful time laughing and singing along. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Tuesday, Tessa and Esteban took me to my first NHL hockey
game (AZ Coyotes against the Los Angeles team). We were about 5 rows down from
the very top, but we could see all the action just fine and, even though it was
freezing in there, it was a good fun time. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Bundled Up - BRRRRR</td></tr>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Wednesday and Thursday were more mellow days. Wednesday
Tessa and I went and had 90 minute massages and met up with Esteban for a late
dinner where we feasted on chicken wings. Thursday was Halloween, so we carved
pumpkins, handed out candy to trick or treaters and played Yahtzee. It was a
wonderful night!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I'm a traditionalist</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And on that note, I’ll save the next phase for the next
blog. My time in Phoenix was better than I could have imagined and I was so
happy to see old friends and do such fun and interesting things with Tessa and
her boyfriend!
</div>
Luscious Lindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07978723382435960383noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5018296878604257543.post-44979975510074637992013-10-29T14:41:00.000-07:002013-10-29T14:41:00.079-07:00Southwest Travels Part Uno (2 of 2)<div class="MsoNormal">
So picking up where I left off….<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Thursday 10/24 I was starting to feel a bit more recovered
from my cold. I was definitely still very congested but my energy level seemed
more in line to normal. I had a dinner date with my long lost friend Hedieh-Jan
(jan means “dear” in Farsi) in Torrance so I headed down to Redondo Beach in
the early afternoon to nosh on some lunch, work, and hopefully set my eyes on
the ocean for a little bit. The weather on Thursday was LOVELY until I was off
of work and then by the time I made it to the ocean, it was overcast, windy and
FREEZING! If I wanted those things, I’d go to the Oregon Coast! It was lovely
nonetheless, but I didn’t withstand the weather in shorts and a short sleeve
top for more than 20 minutes before I moved on. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Redondo Beach - a cloudy sunset </td></tr>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
I met Hedieh at a casual Persian restaurant in Torrance and
when she walked in I could barely contain my excitement! I stayed with Hedieh
the first several times I came down to L.A. to visit after graduate school and
we’ve always gotten along very well. But we had lost touch for a few years
until I found her on the Facebook. There was so much I had to know about what
had been happening in her life (she’d gotten married!) but had been waiting for
an in person interview to get the dish. We had a nice meal and talked for about
two hours before I, regrettably, had to leave to make the 1.5 hour drive back to
West Hills. It was so amazing to see my good, dear friend, though, and I feel
confident that with social networking such as it is, we will not lose touch
again <span style="font-family: Wingdings;">J</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-3FaEnwoYwgY/UnAmfmqtH2I/AAAAAAAAANI/OMMgPwTK7Xw/s1600/IMG_20131024_215924.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-3FaEnwoYwgY/UnAmfmqtH2I/AAAAAAAAANI/OMMgPwTK7Xw/s320/IMG_20131024_215924.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Hedieh and I at Fanoos restaurant</td></tr>
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<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Hedieh-jan</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p> </o:p>Friday I had SO much to do. I had to get up, finish packing,
say my goodbyes to Sayra and her family, and head east to San Bernardino for an
11:30 lunch date with my old professor and thesis advisor, Mark. I had to stop at Rosa Maria’s anyway
(outstanding burrito stand) so I met Mark there for lunch. Again, SO much to
catch up on. Did I mention it’s been FOUR year since I’ve been down to SoCal?
In the four years since I’d seen Mark, he’d gotten married and had two lovely
boys. It was wonderful to hear about his life and his continued work at the
university. It was a great visit!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p><br /></o:p></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-4AuEWHjesTw/UnAmFNGBGQI/AAAAAAAAAMY/dvIB15FpSr0/s1600/20131025_112634.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-4AuEWHjesTw/UnAmFNGBGQI/AAAAAAAAAMY/dvIB15FpSr0/s320/20131025_112634.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Rosa Maria's - amazing food!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ZTEuB-p0mxQ/UnAmHxwW8KI/AAAAAAAAAMg/VQp8lVer_WM/s1600/20131025_123447.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ZTEuB-p0mxQ/UnAmHxwW8KI/AAAAAAAAAMg/VQp8lVer_WM/s320/20131025_123447.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My professor from Grad School - Mark</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p> </o:p>After lunch, I was feeling sentimental so I drove my old
apartment and drove up to the university to check it out. I didn’t park and
walk the campus, just drove up to the turn around and turned back. After all, I
had a date in Palm Springs!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-nG_Ty9sirNE/UnAmX1rh3PI/AAAAAAAAAMw/CsYDt7FCBkA/s1600/20131025_125155.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-nG_Ty9sirNE/UnAmX1rh3PI/AAAAAAAAAMw/CsYDt7FCBkA/s320/20131025_125155.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">That bottom corner unit used to be mine!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-MAgQu_0uu10/UnAmUK34NdI/AAAAAAAAAMo/ME8b1Agh-Q4/s1600/20131025_125853.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-MAgQu_0uu10/UnAmUK34NdI/AAAAAAAAAMo/ME8b1Agh-Q4/s320/20131025_125853.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The center of campus - the San Andreas fault right behind it</td></tr>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p> </o:p>I could NOT believe that Palm Springs is only about an hour
outside of San Bernardino. So I was there in a jiffy. As soon as you pull into
Palm Springs, it’s like you’ve pulled into an alternative universe. It’s a
little oasis in the middle of the desert. Not only is there plenty of green,
but it’s BEAUTIFUL! I didn’t much time to explore, but I checked into my hotel
and as soon as I saw the pool, I knew I was going to spend my extra time right
there. The hotel was called Skylark and it’s only been open since September and
it’s a wonderful cross between 1960’s retro and modern décor. I LOVED it! The
hotel manager walked me to my room, showed me where everything was, made sure I
knew how to work the air conditioning. And it used a traditional key with one
of those triangle fob thingies attached? Omg, I loved it so much! So I
immediately got into the pool to kill some time. It was absolutely divine.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p><br /></o:p></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-qr_jGPS2E_Q/UnAjfqn-XoI/AAAAAAAAAL8/tdd8fiitpKU/s1600/IMG_20131025_164827.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-qr_jGPS2E_Q/UnAjfqn-XoI/AAAAAAAAAL8/tdd8fiitpKU/s320/IMG_20131025_164827.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My room at the Skylark hotel</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-T8Jw8zpiuBc/UnAmf_MrTSI/AAAAAAAAANQ/HvXBFa3T68g/s1600/20131025_152346.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-T8Jw8zpiuBc/UnAmf_MrTSI/AAAAAAAAANQ/HvXBFa3T68g/s320/20131025_152346.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Skylark from the outside. Renovated motel = SO CUTE!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-xODiq3WI2KU/UnAjfolPhiI/AAAAAAAAAL4/jAGB-k-_4rQ/s1600/IMG_20131025_164650.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-xODiq3WI2KU/UnAjfolPhiI/AAAAAAAAAL4/jAGB-k-_4rQ/s320/IMG_20131025_164650.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The pool. The floaties have smiley faces on them! <3 td=""></3></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-e6sWr3NAfJ0/UnAmiy6E4nI/AAAAAAAAANY/4VJqYZPUFE4/s1600/IMG_20131025_161636.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-e6sWr3NAfJ0/UnAmiy6E4nI/AAAAAAAAANY/4VJqYZPUFE4/s320/IMG_20131025_161636.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My feet and the jacuzzi</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p> </o:p>After the sun started to set, it was time for me to get
ready to go see Jayme. I hadn’t kept in touch with Jayme since graduate school
so it had been 11 years since I’d seen or talked with her (other than some very
basic and generic greetings on the Facebook in the last year). Jayme was one of
my very dearest and closest friends in graduate school. I definitely spent most
of my time with her as we lived the closest together. I met her about 45
minutes away from Palm Springs in LaQuinta at a fancy little Italian restaurant
that was super busy and cute. Afterwards we went to a Piano Bar we could walk
to and listened to some music, had an adult beverage, and kept talking. We
certainly had plenty to catch up and we talked for just about three hours
before I had to part ways to make the drive back to Palm Springs to rest up for
the night…. I had a long drive ahead of me the next day so I wanted my beauty
sleep <span style="font-family: Wingdings;">J</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p> <table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-jBl4h8ymWE0/UnAme_JW9NI/AAAAAAAAANM/wNg6MhHYTjs/s1600/20131025_201543.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-jBl4h8ymWE0/UnAme_JW9NI/AAAAAAAAANM/wNg6MhHYTjs/s320/20131025_201543.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Jayme laughing at the Sandbar Piano Bar</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</o:p></div>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-KgrI6eaxmpU/UnAjblQSHrI/AAAAAAAAALs/XXjr3nUC05A/s1600/IMG_20131026_101428.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-KgrI6eaxmpU/UnAjblQSHrI/AAAAAAAAALs/XXjr3nUC05A/s320/IMG_20131026_101428.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Jayme and I</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p><br /></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I got a slow start on Saturday but I was finally up and
heading out of town by noon. I stopped at In N Out burger and had me some lunch
and then hit the road to Phoenix! The drive was relatively unspectacular but I
had great tunes and loved looking at all the rock formations. It was 97 degrees
out and blue skies as far as the eye could see. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-A2o5Q7lKBN4/UnAqqQ08mqI/AAAAAAAAANg/JOz6OLG-veg/s1600/20131026_122809.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-A2o5Q7lKBN4/UnAqqQ08mqI/AAAAAAAAANg/JOz6OLG-veg/s320/20131026_122809.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My first In N Out burger in 12 years!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-90ElPWNa_g8/UnAqs-D8frI/AAAAAAAAANo/MHC_qNbji-8/s1600/20131026_133027.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-90ElPWNa_g8/UnAqs-D8frI/AAAAAAAAANo/MHC_qNbji-8/s320/20131026_133027.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I-10 East to Phoenix</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I did stop at this Jerky spot just past the border into
Arizona to pick up some jerky for my love. It was in a total po-dunk down and
the man working at the shop hit on me! Like… blatantly. Not just flirted with
me. I almost never get outright picked up on. It was very flattering and
totally amusing, even while he helped me pick out hot sauce for my sweetheart. Hahahaha</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
More on Phoenix adventures to come! <span style="font-family: Wingdings;">J</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
Luscious Lindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07978723382435960383noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5018296878604257543.post-51951973894952287192013-10-29T08:59:00.002-07:002013-10-29T08:59:24.158-07:00Southwest Travels Part Uno (1 of 2)<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I consider myself a moderately
adventurous person. I like trying and doing new things and going new places.
But the fact is... I haven't been all that many places. I have never been to
Europe or Asia or South America. Or even Mexico. I have never traveled more
than 8 days somewhere. So even though I'm 10 days into a 21 day trip, I'm still
in shock I'm here. I'm so proud of myself for letting go enough to just pack up
and ditch town. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">And it has been amazing. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I arrived in Los Angeles last
Saturday (10/19), picked up my rental car and head straight out to Sayra's
house in West Hills. Sayra is someone I knew in high school. We weren't
particularly friends, but we weren't NOT friends either. We didn't stay much in
touch but we found each other back in the MySpace days and before I know it,
we've developed an amazing real life, adult friendship and I see her at least
once a year when she comes to Portland to visit her family (sometimes I get
lucky and see her twice a year!). I was even honored to have attended her
wedding in 2009 in Malibu. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">So I get to Sayra's and I hunker
down for the next 6 days. I got to spend so much time talking with my dear
Sayra and being amused by her firecracker of a 1 year old, Maggie.</span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Me with Sayra and Maggie</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Sayra was an incredible hostess and
I was so thankful for the time I got to spend with her and the opportunity
to have her home as a jumping off point for me to visit friends from
graduate school who live in L.A. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Sunday 10/20 I ran some errands and
lounged about a good chunk of the day with Sayra and Magster but headed up to
Westwood in the late afternoon for dinner with Lisa. I had invited almost
everyone I knew to the dinner but the universe conspired to give Lisa and I our
alone time together to catch up on the last several years since I'd seen her
last. We had an amazing Persian meal accompanied by wine and 3 full hours of
conversation and laughter. Every time I see her, I feel like I get my future
told. She is such an intuitive energetic force field ... and I am continuously
in awe of her amazingness. </span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-YWUeml4mGPo/Um_acLAbkBI/AAAAAAAAALA/VRY_If1BbF0/s1600/20131020_194304.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-YWUeml4mGPo/Um_acLAbkBI/AAAAAAAAALA/VRY_If1BbF0/s320/20131020_194304.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Lisa and I at Shamshiri Grill in Westwood, CA</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Sunday after dinner it became
apparent I was getting a cold. But I had plans Monday night for dinner, dang
it, so I was able to keep the cold at bay enough for me to spend the afternoon
in Studio City where I had a late lunch at Aroma Cafe (lines around the block!)
and working before meeting up with Kevin, another grad school peer, at The
Salsa Bar. </span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My lunch at Aroma Cafe, Studio City, CA</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Kevin at Salsa Bar, Studio City, CA</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Tuesday I was officially down and
out with a cold and I spent all day in bed working and blowing my nose
endlessly and feeling awfully sorry for myself. I did manage to get up and out
in the evening and saw Gravity in 3D which was amazing. There were full on
recliners for seats and only THREE other people in the huge theater. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Wednesday 10/23 I spent the day
feeling all that much more sorry for myself that I was still super sick and
phlegmy (yuck). I did, however, get lucky enough to score a dinner date with my
hostess, Sayra. We went to a restaurant called Red Ginger in Woodland Hills
where they serve sushi and Thai food. The food was incredible! The sushi was
top 3 best I've ever had, it was so fresh and amazing. Unfortunately I did not
get pictures of our cute selves that evening... despite the 4 previous days of
chatting and talking, we just had too much conversation to be bothered with the
camera. We did try to take ourselves out for FroYo at a place called yozen
frogurt (say that 10 times real fast!) but we were too full so just took it
home to eat later. It was a wonderful night and I'm so grateful I got a couple
of hours of one on one time with her. She is so amazing and lovely and
talented.... I'm constantly reminded how blessed I am that we have become and remained such good friends. </span><br /><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">And on that note, I will continue
the rest of the week in another blog! More to come soon! :) </span></div>
Luscious Lindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07978723382435960383noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5018296878604257543.post-40238925102992627652013-08-29T15:58:00.000-07:002013-08-29T15:58:05.562-07:00Foundation of AwesomeI was reflecting today on how people change over time. How experiences, happiness, heartache, therapy, huge life events.... all have the potential to prompt us to make shifts in our demeanor, our attitude, our view of our world and others.<br />
<br />
I was attending a class-like thing today and in listening to the material, I saw that it was geared more toward folks who maybe didn't have that much confidence. Who didn't have well developed life skills. Which, shockingly, many people don't have! ANYway, afterwards, I was thinking "how did I get this awesome?" Almost my entire young adulthood was full of academic achievement, sub-par relationships/ friendships ... fast-tracking to "spinsterhood" with moderately severe social anxiety. In looking back, I can so easily identify the major contributors of what tore my walls down and changed my perspective.<br />
<br />
Firstly, although it didn't really happen to me right away when I did it, when I was in graduate school and I felt absolutely terrified of life (can you believe it?) I put a post it on my mirror in my bedroom that said "do not be afraid to live life." Again, it took a long time (several years) for me to really feel that way, but it worked. A message reminding me every day that I can make a choice to live a life gifted to me to its fullest or to let it pass me by in a haze of fear, anti-depressants and yearning with no real drive to go after what I want. That message, however simple it seems, made a powerful impact.<br />
<br />
Secondly, about six-ish years ago, I had a short term passionate love affair with someone I was very close friends with in high school and part of college, but had lost touch with for about 10 years. While the official end of the relationship happened during a morning conversation, it took nearly a year to break away from him. I was totally addicted. I didn't want to be without him (but eventually didn't want to be with him either). I couldn't let go. I started seeing an amazing therapist who changed my life forever. Through her suggestion, I started going to "Adult Children of Alcoholics" (ACoA) which took only a few months to then lead me to CODA (Codependents Anonymous) where I found a home. I spent a year religiously going to meetings and working the 12-steps and getting to know who I was not in relation to someone else. I got over the relationship. I got over all the relationships I'd ever had that ever put me in a position of not being good enough. That led me to be taken advantage of. That were with men who weren't kind, weren't giving and weren't ... well... awesome. Through that work I finally started to see myself as a worthwhile person.... as someone who, just by being here, deserved the best. That my life was my choice and within my own hands to make of it what I want. And so I have... and do. Again, it's not something that I woke up one day and said "wow, I think I'm great!"... it was a gradual change in how I treated and talked to myself. Less negative self talk, more surrounding myself with supportive people (more on that later), more self care and less self destruction. And then you have little "ah ha" moments like I did today where I looked around the room and saw everyone looking downcast while I couldn't help feeling perky and alert and happy. That's powerful stuff, let me tell you. Powerful stuff.<br />
<br />
Lastly, in the last several years, I have solidified several relationships that have shown me that it's okay to trust. Not just trust, but to forgive when trust is broken. To move on when you are disappointed in someone. I feel that in both my romantic relationship and with many of my friendships I maintain, I have found such value in coming from a place of love and acceptance versus fear, judgement and selfishness. While I feel that my true understanding and value of what friendship meant happened for me in graduate school, it was in my ability to be utterly open and vulnerable with my more adult friendships that have shaped so much of my view on relating with people. I feel SO blessed to have friends and family who, even sometimes to my surprise, are truly unconditionally supportive and loving toward me. It is so easy for me to pick out the people who cannot interact with me in a manner in which I deem appropriate (immature, etc), therefore to keep them at arms' length if I must have interaction with them. I have more fun now in my life than maybe ever. I have a lover who sees all of me and finds less fault in me than I can in myself. Who loves me in a way that makes me feel full and satiated. I have friendships that have cast a wide, loving, warm net so if/when I fall, I know someone will be there to catch and hold me. I am... eternally grateful... for the abundance of love I have in my life. <br />
<br />
I love my life. I love my love. I love my friends and family. I love reminding myself to live with a heart full of love instead of fear. When I enter into any and all interactions with empathy and care instead of fear and judgement, no matter what the outcome is, I'm a better person for it.<br />
<br />
Thank you, everyone. Just.... thank you. <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Luscious Lindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07978723382435960383noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5018296878604257543.post-51192353632987953632013-07-26T14:38:00.001-07:002013-07-26T14:38:59.093-07:00Something miraculous this way comesSomething in my mind has been changing. I was taught at an early age to give a lot of attention to the number on a scale. On the size of my ass, the size of my belly, the size of my clothing. I have spent my whole life following that lead. I exercise and eat ONLY as a means to an end. Or don't exercise or eat because I say "eff it" and am frustrated and emotionally stuffing that frustration.<br />
<br />
About 6-7 weeks ago, I hired one of the most amazing women I know to work with me a couple of times a months on personal training. Her work outs are hard but I build up to them and they feel good. Her positivity and encouragement have rubbed off on me and I work out lately because I WANT to. Because I can see the shape of my thighs change as I do 60 lunges in a work out 2x a week. Because I feel stronger and sexier and leaner. Because she believes in me and she's right... I CAN do it! <br />
<br />
I haven't lost a pound or a single inch. And I don't care right now. I'm focusing on maintaining healthy habits. On how I feel in my skin. And things are feeling a bit more homey lately.<br />
<br />
I could be eating more consistently better, but nothing is too crazy. I don't feel my best self when I eat carbs or sugar, but my calorie intake isn't off the charts, either, so I'm not worried too much about it. I've had some digestion issues (infection maybe?) as well that has made eating not sound all that awesome, but I'm hanging in there.<br />
<br />
As of right now, I have detached from the outcome, something I've been trying to do for SO LONG! And the second I stopped trying so hard and started eating to fuel up (and have some fun now and then, too) instead of focusing on if this bite or that bite will get me to my goal and exercise for the sheer joy of of it.... somehow I find myself way less focused on those numbers (scale/inches/size, etc) and focusing more on just doing it each day. On moving my body on purpose and trying to eat food that makes me feel energized.<br />
<br />
I'm sure I'm not "cured", but these things are good steps and it's something I've never really noticed myself doing before (not obsessing so much about food/exercise). Hopefully some weight will come off. Maybe it won't. I'm going to just live each day the best I can and try to continue to let my mind have some brain space for other things other than if I look good in that dress or not.<br />
<br />
Make it a great weekend, everyone!! **SMOOCH**<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Luscious Lindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07978723382435960383noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5018296878604257543.post-91698541459550249982013-06-20T15:00:00.001-07:002013-06-20T15:00:25.867-07:00Now where did that wagon go?So the Whole30 ended, I was feeling great and then what happened? The same thing that happens every time... I get a little arrogant or I travel or I go to a party... and I fall off the wagon.<br />
<br />
Here's the bad news about this. I gained a few pounds. I totally obsessed about food for several days in the last few weeks that led to a few isolated days of all out compulsive eating.<br />
<br />
Here is the good news: Other than a tweaked knee I had last week which healed up in a few days, I haven't stopped exercising. Even though I ate total junk for 3 or so days, I'm back on track and not looking back. The junk made me feel like shit and really, if I focus on how I feel and not the numbers on the scale, it's a lot easier to not get frustrated.<br />
<br />
So the wagon (which I always imagine as this cloth covered prairie wagon for some reason) was a few blocks away, but I've caught up with it and hopped back on and am riding steady. July will be a challenge due to my traveling back and forth to Seaside to spend time with my guy, but I can bring my own food and continue to eat as clean as possible when we go out and split entrees with him instead of having a whole entree to myself to help with portion control. Staying positive and staying in the moment and looking ahead, but not spending too much time berating myself for what's already happened.<br />
<br />
Have a fantastic upcoming weekend!Luscious Lindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07978723382435960383noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5018296878604257543.post-41311861857561710182013-05-29T10:00:00.001-07:002013-05-29T10:00:36.438-07:00Whole30 - The EndToday marks my last day on the Whole30. I'm technically a day early, but I'm traveling tonight and tomorrow and can't wait to share a bottle of wine with my sweet heart.<br />
<br />
As I mentioned, I did the Whole30 as a Whole45 in January/February 2012 (or was it 2011?) I don't remember, but I do remember I stuck to it and lost 4 pounds. I was SO frustrated. But I'm doing things differently now. I'm seeing a naturopath and acupuncturist to get my system to let go of what it doesn't need and between that and consistent exercise and doing the Whole30 again, I've officially lost 9.6 pounds and 6.75 inches since May 1st. It's the most weight I've lost since I hit about 25 years old without doing something drastic and extreme. Although I suppose some would say the Whole30 is drastic, but I found a quote yesterday that said "Paleo isn't low carb, it's low crap." And that's a fact. Cutting out sugar has been AMAZING!<br />
<br />
I haven't been perfect. I've had sushi three times. I had quinoa and sour cream when I went to Phoenix. I went wine tasting last Sunday. I put a few drops of Stevia in my coffee a few times. But you know what I didn't do? I didn't let my sushi nights lead to another meal or day off plan. I didn't eat any of the crackers or candy that were put out at the wineries. I didn't put 10 drops of Stevia in my coffee just 2 or 3. I ate a cutie tangerine the other day and couldn't... it was too sweet. It's amazing how your tastes change with you limit the sugar and sweetness you ingest. I cannot eat 72% dark chocolate anymore. If it's not 88-90%, I don't want it, it's too sweet.<br />
<br />
I've loved this and can't wait to do it again. It was challenging and I had hard days (traveling on this plan is difficult) but I'm thrilled with the results and feel like I finally have some inertia and momentum to keep focused.<br />
<br />
I've also developed an interesting side effect of eating too much or too fast. If I eat too much or too fast, I get a bit of a stomach ache and lump in my throat that feels like I swallowed a tennis ball. If anything will make me rethink a second helping or remind me to slow down, it's a tennis ball in my throat! LOL<br />
<br />
Anyway... this has been great and I expect I'll officially do it again in January, but I'm going to keep attempting to keep sugar intake to a minimum. Make my own salad dressings and mayonnaise when possible to cut down on unnecessary sugars and preservatives, eating whole foods and not packaged foods, and limiting happy hours and restaurant outings whenever possible. Here's hoping I keep going... I have 17 more pounds before I get to my first weight loss goal.<br />
<br />
Have a great day everyone!Luscious Lindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07978723382435960383noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5018296878604257543.post-30085576240820130162013-05-15T16:30:00.001-07:002013-05-15T16:30:21.893-07:00Halfway PointToday marks my halfway point of my Whole30 Paleo Challenge. I can't tell you how amazing I feel. My energy has been consistent, I've been getting through my work outs without being so exhausted I need to quit, I'm sleeping better and I'm not really craving much. I love it!<br />
<br />
I wish it were easy ALL the time to eat no sugar, but it's really not. I mean, it's easy to limit sugar at home, but you never know what you're getting if you eat out. And I really don't want to live my life without the occasional glass of wine or a cocktail at social occasions. Also, as I learned, traveling and eating Whole30 is difficult. Not impossible, but definitely a challenge. <br />
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As you know by now, I tried out for the Biggest Loser this last weekend by attending a Casting Call in Phoenix, AZ. I packed a lot of food with me in preparation for the flight there and back, waiting in line, etc etc. I packed SeaSnax, Primal Pacs, cashews, almonds and oranges. Also a few raw bars I found at New Seasons that had no added sugar. I ate only two meals out and still managed to have 5 corn chips and a dallop of sour cream on my not so awesome salad at dinner on Friday night and some cheese and ranch dressing on my salad at lunch on Saturday. I also had sour cream and quinoa in my Paleo-friendly Green Chile Verde soup that my host made for me. Sunday I was so exhausted after getting up at 4am to get to the airport and fly home that it was difficult to stay away from the sushi when we went out for Mother's Day. In the end, I ended up getting sushi take out and getting my fill. I didn't feel awesome physically, but I didn't beat myself emotionally for the few transgressions I made away from plan.<br />
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I was immediately back on plan after my Sunday take-out and haven't strayed since. I really am working on letting go of the perfection mentality. I do want to do my best on the 30 day challenge and I'd like to think I'll eat like this when this is over (which I expect since my regular diet isn't really all that different than this) but if I eat like this 80% of the time and the other 20% of the time is still healthy foods that may involve dairy, grains and sugars like honey or maple syrup... with an occasional cheeseburger and fries thrown in for good measure, then I feel perfectly fine with that. I hope my release from the perfection mentality stays with me... the "all or nothing" and black and white thinking doesn't do anyone any good. Moderation, moderation, moderation. Life isn't about perfection, it's about doing your best, feeling your best, and taking care of the only thing you have in this world when it comes down to it and that's your health. Physical, emotional and spiritual health, all deeply intertwined.<br />
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So I reach back, give myself a firm pat on the back and carry on, my head held high and a bounce in my step. Luscious Lindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07978723382435960383noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5018296878604257543.post-20235315725800041422013-05-07T11:03:00.001-07:002013-05-07T11:03:00.779-07:00A Dichotomous State of MindMy energy since starting the Whole30 on May 1st has been better than it's been in a long time. I feel alert, clear minded and focused. Motivated even!<br />
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I feel great about the food I'm eating and have had the energy and wherewithal to exercise 5 days last week plus a yin yoga class! I'm sleeping pretty good (despite a sore shoulder and weird dreams) and overall feel pretty dang good.<br />
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But I feel a bit of emotional heaviness. I feel confused... like I WANT to be the happiness person alive right now, but I have some nagging feelings that are keeping me down. I'm trying to just recognize this feeling and accept it instead of judging it and be as happy as I can be despite this strange sense of.... sadness... uncertainty... confusion... even some somewhat undefined fear.<br />
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It's weird to feel so dichotomous. I pretty much usually feel one way at any given moment, even if that may change quickly at times. But right now I feel like while I'm on top of the world, I still keep looking down. I just have to accept it for what it is right now and keep doing the best I can.<br />
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23 more days on the Whole30! I'm sure I'll add Stevia and some limited alcohol back into my diet but I think I'll attempt to stay grain, soy and refined sugar free as much as I can. I feel amazing. Like the cobwebs have been cleared. It's a great thing. :-)Luscious Lindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07978723382435960383noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5018296878604257543.post-32819852859774604992013-05-01T10:27:00.000-07:002013-05-01T10:27:18.784-07:00Whole30 - The beginningToday begins the Whole30 for me. I'm SO grateful to have a few folks doing it along with me so there is a bit of a support and brainstorming net.<br />
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The good news is that I was totally freaked out to remove the Stevia from my coffee but I found that if I put the coffee over ice and put enough Almond milk in it, then it's not SO bad. Whew! What a relief.<br />
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Otherwise, the Whole30 isn't all that different than how I usually eat, just paying more attention to labels on things like bacon and salad dressing, both of which usually have added sugars. And not drinking. But 30 days with no alcohol is no big deal. I'm having a little shin dig in June and just think what a cheap date I'll be after a month of not drinking! LOL<br />
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Anyway, I'm not doing this with an intention to drop weight, but really just to improve overall health, energy and work out performance. If I lose weight or inches, then hey... added bonus! I'm finally into a regular exercise routine so I think things will go alone well and hopefully relatively quickly. I can't believe it's even May anyway!!<br />
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More halfway through... have a great day!!Luscious Lindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07978723382435960383noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5018296878604257543.post-721171028122783822013-04-23T09:23:00.001-07:002013-04-23T09:23:54.147-07:00Gearing upHi friends!<br />
I'm gearing up to start the Whole30 Paleo cleanse next Wednesday, May 1st for a month. I've only done this once before, well over a year ago, but I think I got it down. I've been eating mostly Paleo for a good two years now so cutting out the sugars and dairy won't be too difficult. The hardest part is cutting out the alcohol. No booze at the bachelorette party I'm going to or during any weekends away or for happy hours. BUT I've done it before and I can do it again. It's only 30 days for crying out loud.<br />
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And I have at least two folks who have committed to doing it with me so we can talk about challenges and successes and recipes. I'm stoked.<br />
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To be clear, I don't expect anything regarding weight loss. I'm actually not even doing this with any weight loss intentions. My ezcema has been reacting to sugars mostly so I'm really using it as a tool to cut it out for a while and allow my body and skin to heal up a bit. I'm doing it to see if cutting out the sugar for 30 days helps with my overall energy, which has been sporadically both super high and super low.<br />
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I am considering actually making time for scheduled meditation each week. My ND tells me that my adrenal hormones aren't happy right now and they are reactive to stressors. Not necessarily mental/emotional stress either, but physical ones as well... carrying extra weight, working out with extra weight, worrying excessively about extra weight. I'd love to be free of the worry and while I can't really magically wake up thinner (if someone comes up with THAT formula, let me know!), I can try to relax about it. Ease up on how much my brain space it takes up. I'm already taking a weekly Yin yoga class and in addition to that I'd like to actually schedule time to sit in front of one of the multiple guided meditation CDs I have just to free my mind for a little while. <br />
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So I'm going to have my sushi this week, have my beer at the brewfest this weekend and be going sugar/dairy/alcohol free May 1st! I'll keep you updated on how things go! WHOOT!!!Luscious Lindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07978723382435960383noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5018296878604257543.post-39605850678644344102013-04-18T10:16:00.000-07:002013-04-18T10:16:24.881-07:00Challenge SchmallengeI've only cheated once on the April Challenge of no sushi, but I see eff it! I'm done with depriving myself of my very favorite food. I mean, it's not Carl's Jr. or McDonald's. It's not the worst thing to indulge in every now and then.<br />
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So I learned something yesterday. I realize this seems really obvious, probably to everyone else, but it just occurred to me yesterday. If I'm craving something (such as sushi) then it's really better for me to have it in moderation (I don't need to eat four rolls at a time, maybe just one or two!) than it is for me to not have it at all. I've noticed that my snacking is a bit out of hand the last 2 days that I've really wanted to have sushi. Instead of having the sushi, I just had almond butter with chocolate chips and veggie chips and a slice of cheese and extra egg and bacon on my cobb salad and 1/2 cup of coconut milk ice cream instead of the 1/4 cup serving. Calories I ended up eating one way or the other. <br />
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I'm going to do the Whole30 next month with Amy (more on that later) so I'll have more time to not eat my favorite food. But in the meantime, if I want it, I'm going to have it and dang it, I'll enjoy it. Again, it's more about the quantity limit than anything else. If I can manage that, I can be a-ok. Granted, I don't always manage that, but I do better when I give in to the craving with the intention to moderate than it is when I just give myself free reign to make up for the craving other ways.<br />
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So.... April challenge is officially voided for me. I have all of May to refocus energies on no sugar, no grains. So in the last 12 days of this month, if I want sushi, gosh darn it, I'm going to have it! <br />
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Okay, rant over :)Luscious Lindsayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07978723382435960383noreply@blogger.com1