Thursday, September 30, 2010


I am a huge commitment-phobe. Not with it comes to things like relationships or people, but when it comes to having to be somewhere at a certain time on a regular basis. I do some volunteer work and it's about once a month or so and even THAT is hard for me. It's, like, 4 hours a month and I choke up with having to go. I don't like being obligated for the most part.

So strangely enough, I have made a commitment to doing a boot camp class. It's about 65 blocks away from my house, it's at 7am and it's 4-5 days a week. I made the commitment for SIX MONTHS. Oh dear lord. I've been sick with anxiety for two days since I made the commitment. I've also been scared b/c this kind of regularity with my work outs AND the fact that it's first thing in the morning, meaning I'll be burning more fat and not sugars.... I'm bound to drop weight. And there is a little demon inside of me that is freaking out. B/c I've held onto all this weight for some reason or another all this time.

Today was day one. It wasn't as bad as I was expecting and I think the WillPower and Grace class I took 2 weeks ago at 24 hour fitness was infinitely harder. Not that it wasn't challenging. I can't believe I woke up so early and dragged myself ANYwhere and actually had FUN during the work out. The group seems nice and the trainer is no nonsense, but kind.

I intend to have some pics and results up as time goes by. Until I have any semblance of an "after" I'm afraid I'm to shy to share my "before" but I will at some point.

On top of this commitment to working out at 7am 4 days a week, I make the following commitments to myself:

1. To eat when I'm hungry and stop when I'm full. To pause and reflect the best I can on satisfaction level.
2. To have one meal a week that I really want, but not go all out on a "free day". To continue to eat whole foods as a core part of my daily diet.
3. To show up.
4. To blog more regularly.
5. To take it easy when I need to, to push when I can... to not worry about other peoples' judgments.
6. To make every day the best I can and wish the same for all of you!

Stay tuned for more next week!

P.S. As I start to blog again more regularly (which I intend to), if there is any topic you'd like me to write about, let me know!

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

With singlehood comes motivation

It's so true what they say that when you are in a relationship and you're comfortable, you tend to put on a few pounds. While I've vacillated up and down 20 pounds all year (my weight is VERY volatile), I put on 10 pounds over the summer after a 20 pound loss just because my sort of boyfriend wanted to eat hot dogs and hamburgers all the time. So we did. But he has a different metabolism than I and I pack on the pounds just by THINKING about it while he stayed an even 175.

Well, possibly the only good thing that comes out of a break up is that I have more time to do other things, namely exercising, and less pressure to eat out or eat poorly. I can go back to my breakfasts of steel cut oats and turkey bacon. A salad every day for lunch. And chicken and rice for dinner instead of burgers, hot dogs, beer and other miscellaneous goodness that Special K liked to partake in. Of course I'm terribly terribly sad so the eating better and working out serves to make me feel better and more put together. Helps me relieve both my stress and my sadness. Give me something to focus on other than how much I want to call the now ex or how much I miss him.

PLUS, I'm going to Maui for New Year's so it sure would be nice to drop a few pounds and be feeling good while I'm prancing around an island in a swimsuit in January. :)

So I'm here to say I'm back... and pushing through harder than ever.