Friday, March 5, 2010

Hi everyone! Long time, no talk. I was going through my MySpace blogs recently b/c I'm going to be closing my MySpace account and as I was going through and printing old blogs so I would have them always, I found this from June of 2008:

But... when i find the one. The right one. The one who is the balance between kind and exciting; good and naughty; sincere and passionate; etc etc.... .... I can't wait to do things like... make out for no reason other than to make out. Without even the end result being sex. To go on vacation together. To stay in bed all day and laugh and talk and nap and make love. To go to a far away tropical place and watch sunsets and make love on the beach and drink margaritas and mimosas and eat fresh fruit in our robes on a balcony. I can't wait to have an argument and TRUST that a fight doesn't mean the end of anything. I can't wait to be over my fear of someone just... changing their mind... b/c they love me and they would never just wake up one day and leave. I can't wait to have adventures and last minute road trips and to hike and swim and go fishing and to buy a boat and a home and to have a wedding and babies and a dog. I can't wait for any of it. Today, I FEEL that love. I feel mushy and flushed and excited. You'd think I had it bad for someone, but I don't. I'm just... happy at the idea of it. I really have to believe and have faith that all of this awaits me. That when I am ready, and I am healthy, and the other waste has faded from my heart and there is room, that this person will simply walk right into my life. And I won't feel swept away... rather it will be a gradual progression. And it will be real.

And just as I was in the middle of reading this, my boyfriend calls me. And so then I read it to him. And it made me cry. B/c you know. I put this out there. And I held onto it. And then I forgot. But in time, it came to me. And it's beautiful and amazing.

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