This isn't one of the things I was going to talk about, but I do suppose it's relevant now. Things in my life have changed since my last post. My relationship of 6-9 months (depending on how you look at it) has ended. Things are still up in the air in regards to possible reconciliation, but at this time, we are not really in touch until our next talk date which is Friday. But that's a side note.
The point is... I'm sad. You know... like break up sad. I cry all the time, I reach for him in bed, I pout when I drink my morning coffee alone, and all songs, no matter what they are about, break my heart. A few hours after Special K left my house on Sunday, I went out with my best girl and had 12, count them TWELVE chicken wings. They were gooey, hot and fatty goodness. Except, when I think back on it, I really only enjoyed the first three. The others, I just shoveled in and didn't really notice. Wow, what a thing to realize.
So even though my eyes are leaking and I'm totally confused and sad, I have continued to eat my salad every day along with my rice, beans, fruit and seeds, and to do my work outs... No matter what. And honestly, having gone through breakups before, I feel way different. I feel like... I'm sad... but not broken. I'm crying but I'm not poisoning my body with loads of empty calories and fat. I'm still fueling and my energy is still maintained despite my emotion and that is... REALLY powerful stuff.
I can honestly say I have always taken advantage of going on an emotional eating bender. B/c fast food and ice cream comforts me. Right? Wrong. It makes me feel bloated and full and I don't even taste it. Now I am saving my fast food and ice cream moments for when I really want to enjoy it instead of using it to numb out. At least... for now. This is a huge, HUGE accomplishment and it goes to show you (ok, me) that mindless emotional eating doesn't have to occur at every emotional turn in one's life.
What a big revelation!! *as I sit here and munch on my salad* :-)